If you’ve ever been to a nightclub before, then I’m sure that you’ve heard of the VIP (aka, Very Important Person) section before.
If not, the VIP section of a nightclub is the section of the club where some very lucky people get to enjoy some very cool perks.
People in the VIP section don’t wait in line like everyone else.
People in the VIP section are given super comfortable seats and a table with specialized service, just for them.
Most importantly, people in the VIP section get to enjoy the absolute best that the nightclub has to offer.
Make no mistake, it’s an honor, privilege, and a pretty incredible experience to enjoy VIP access.
At this point, I wouldn’t blame you if you were wondering, “umm okay, I haven’t been to a nightclub in years. What in the hell does this have to do with me?”
A lot, actually.
You might not be in charge of the VIP section for a fancy nightclub, but you’re in charge of the VIP section for something that’s far more important:
You’re in charge of the VIP section of your life.
Not Everyone in the Front Row is a Fan
One of my buddies told me a quote a few years ago that has stuck with me for years. In fact, it’s one of the most important quotes that I have ever heard in my life:
“Not everyone in the front row is a fan.”
This is so true.
This might not be too fun to acknowledge, but it’s possible that some of the people who have the closest view of our lives (our significant others, friends, family members, coworkers, etc.) might not have our best interests in mind.
Actually, in some cases, they may have the exact opposite of our “best interests” in mind.
Some people find pleasure in our pain.
Some people are stuck in their negativity and are hellbent on spreading that negativity onto you.
Some very insecure people find a strange sense of enjoyment from seeing us try and fail.
Or simply put, some haters just need to hate.
There is no doubt in my mind that as you’re reading these words, you know exactly who these people are in your life.
Maybe you’ve allowed these people into the innermost circle of your life, maybe you’ve allowed them to get a clear and unobstructed view of your hopes and dreams, and maybe you have granted them the all-important “VIP access” to your life.
If so, let me be the first to say that they don’t deserve it.
Since we don’t have a musclebound bouncer with a clipboard and a flashlight following us around everywhere, it’s going to be up to us to guard the VIP section of our lives as if our lives depended on it.
That’s because it does.
Let’s cut to the chase here. We’re here on this earth to live our best lives.
Equally as true, not everyone wants that for us.
If we consider the VIP section of our lives to be only for the people who bring out the best in us, fully appreciate us (flaws and all), and make our lives better because of their presence in it, then that doesn’t leave any room in the VIP section for the people who fall short of that standard.
Take it from me–I have spent a large portion of my life letting all sorts of jokers into my personal VIP section.
Some of these people include: significant others who have cheated on me, coworkers who I thought were my friends but weren’t, and some friends who purposefully abused my trust. It was only until the past few years that I smartened up and started guarding the VIP entrance more seriously.
Access to the VIP section isn’t a right, it’s a privilege. And it’s a privilege that not everyone deserves.
If you have someone in your life who is consistently making you feel miserable, sad, angry, or any other negative emotion, I’m not saying that you have to throw him/her out of the nightclub (even though that wouldn’t be a bad idea at all.)
Unfortunately, hecklers can still come to the stadium. Haters can still hang out at the nightclub. It’s impossible to keep these people out of our lives completely.
But from now on, the front row is for real fans only, and the VIP section is only for the special people who have earned the right to be there.
Not Everyone Can Be “Very Important”
You guys already know how serious I am about creating a nicer world, and one of the quickest ways to make it happen is to consistently be nice to ourselves.
By allowing the wrong people to get full access to the innermost parts of our lives is one of the meanest (if not, cruelest) things that we can consciously do to ourselves.
In fact, I’ll go as far as saying that doing so is the most predictable recipe for emotional pain that exists in this world.
The door to our hopes, our lifelong dreams, our deepest secrets, and our heart & soul should not be allowed to be accessed by anyone who happens to walk into our lives.
I don’t care if the person is your long-time significant other, your family member, or someone you’ve known your entire life, access to the VIP section must be earned.
Let’s face it, not everyone in our lives can be “very important.”
If everyone in our lives is “very important,” that’s the same thing as saying that no one is.
Only the real fans deserve the privilege of being the “Very Important People” in our lives.
Who are these very important people?
They are the first ones to help us up when we fall down.
They encourage our hopes and dreams instead of stomping on them.
They stick around when everyone else is bailing out on us.
They build us up instead of tear us down.
They treat us with dignity and respect at all times.
They offer a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on when we need it.
They love us unconditionally.
The bar is set pretty damn high for VIPs–that’s why these people are “very important.”
If we’re guarding the VIP entrance like we should be, then very few people will ever earn VIP access in our lives. And in some cases, people who once earned VIP status in our lives in the past may no longer be worthy of that honor now if they fail to meet the standard mentioned above.
In case you’re wondering, that doesn’t mean that the non-VIPs in our lives deserve less-than-positive treatment. Nothing could be further from the truth.
You probably work with a lot of non-VIPs. You might have a lot of friends who will never earn VIP status. You might even be married to a non-VIP. It doesn’t mean that we don’t care about these people.
I have always believed that everyone in our lives is a teacher. This is especially true for the non-VIPs in our lives.
We have a lot to learn from all of the people in our lives, and their presence may be necessary in order to learn critical lessons that will allow us to grow into our best selves.
These people deserve our kindness and our love.
As long as they act right, they can hang out in the club as long as they want. We’re just not letting them into the VIP section where our hopes and dreams live, until they have earned the right to be there.
Truthfully, that’s not even the main issue.
The much bigger concern is that too many of us have made a habit of allowing people into the VIP section who haven’t earned the right to be there.
Just like a nightclub owner wouldn’t make a habit of inviting knuckleheads to the VIP section who like to “trash the club” by breaking glasses, pouring champagne all over the couches, and acting like a damn fool–you probably shouldn’t do the same in your VIP section either.
Not only do these destructive people not deserve VIP access, but they don’t even deserve access to your nightclub (aka, your life).
We must take the responsibility of guarding our VIP sections seriously. Only the people who appreciate us and consistently bring out the best in us deserve to be granted access.
On the other hand, anyone who doesn’t appreciate our presence needs to experience our absence, immediately.
The VIP section is an asshat-free zone. Anyone who wants to get a spot in the VIP section has to earn the right to be here from now on.
For the people who are already in the VIP section, let’s make the next toast in honor of us living the most epic lives possible, starting today.
Are you cautious about who you let into the VIP Section of your life? Have you ever allowed anyone into your inner circle who didn’t deserve the right to be there? As always, don’t hesitate to jump into the comment section below and make your voice heard!