The Question That You Need to Ask Yourself

Woman walking alone at sunset

It’s time for an honest answer.

Here’s a quick riddle for you.

Do you know the one question that is asked literally millions of times a day all over the world, people rarely answer it honestly when it’s asked to them, and it’s a question that people almost never direct at themselves, even though they should on a daily basis?

Give up?

No worries, let’s cut the suspense and get to it. Here it is:

“How are you?”

So, really–how are you?

This is such a simple question, and your willingness to answer it honestly is the main difference between making 2015 the most positive year possible, or another year that was just like last year (which isn’t a good thing if 2014 was a hot mess.)

Think that’s an exaggeration? It’s not.

I’ll prove it.

Avoiding the Question

Just so we’re on the same page here–when I’m talking about answering the “how are you?” question honestly, I’m not saying that you need to spill your guts to any random character who decides to ask you that question.

I don’t really care how you choose to answer that question when someone else asks you how you’re doing. If you’re anything like me, you’ve been guilty of saying that you were “fine” many times when you felt like crap inside.

That’s cool–we’ve all been there. Here’s what I do care deeply about:

How do you answer that question when you direct it at yourself?

My goal is to make 2015 much better than 2014 for everyone reading this (yes, that includes me too), and that can only happen if we are willing to go to the nearest mirror, look ourselves in the eyes and answer this question with full, unfiltered honesty:

How are you doing, really?

Here’s the problem–what if you don’t have the guts to ask yourself that question and answer it honestly? Truthfully, a lot of people don’t have the courage to do it.

Some people choose to numb themselves from the world with booze, drugs and overeating to avoid having to confront the reality of that question.

Some people choose to mindlessly spend countless hours each day surfing Facebook, watching DVR’ed shows or playing video games to avoid having to confront the reality of that question.

Some people choose to bury themselves into their careers, their schoolwork or their parenting duties to avoid having to confront the reality of that question.

I personally know way too many people who are terrified to ask themselves this question (I used to be one of them), and most of them will do anything in their power to avoid having to answer it. I think I know why.

That’s because being honest about how you’re feeling means that you have to do something about it if you don’t like the answer.

The Remedy

I’ve already discussed the insanity of running away from our problems, and I think that it’s equally as insane (if not, more so) to run away from our feelings. There’s only one remedy for this issue:

Stop. Completely stop.

Stop reaching for another glass of wine. Stop scrolling through your News Feed deciding which one of your buddies to cyber-stalk on Facebook. Stop glorifying your need to be busy all of the time.

Just stop, find five minutes of alone time (and I don’t care how busy you think you are, you have five minutes), make sure that your mind is clear as it can be, and then ask yourself in a mirror, “how are you doing, really?” Most importantly of all, answer that question honestly.

I’m very passionate about this topic because I’m speaking from recent experience about the positive effects of doing so.

As you probably already know, I took a few weeks off in December to completely unplug from the digital world and the professional world, and refocus on what’s truly important in my life–namely, my family and friends.

During this time, I did exactly what I said above.

On a morning last week when I was home alone (and even though it might sound corny to some people reading this), I went to the nearest mirror, looked myself in the eyes and asked myself, “how are you doing, really?” And truthfully, I didn’t like the answer. I’m always going to keep it real with you, so here are some examples of what I discovered:

  • I was sad that I used my career and this blog as an excuse to not be in contact with my parents and other family members as much as I should.
  • I was resentful and emotionally-drained that I allowed some people in my personal and professional life to dump their drama at my feet on a way-too-frequent basis.
  • I was scared that certain health issues would only get worse if I didn’t make it more of a priority to take care of myself (no worries, it’s nothing serious.)
  • I was disappointed that many of the goals that I set for myself in 2014 have now become “2015 goals” because I didn’t do as much as I could to achieve them last year.
  • I was embarrassed that in the past month, I noticed that in some areas of my life I wasn’t following my own advice.

Here’s the beautiful thing about all of this. None of us are perfect and all of us will slip up on this positivity journey from time to time. However, if I didn’t take the time to stop and get real about how I was really feeling, chances are that I would have kept burying my head into my work and ignored all of the above issues until it was too late.

By simply stopping and getting real about my feelings, I’ve now addressed each of those issues and I’m fully re-focused on walking the path toward my best life. That’s why 2015 is going to be the most positive year of my life.

Most importantly, here’s some potentially life-altering advice for anyone reading this:

This year (or anything else) will not be a positive experience if it’s built on a foundation of a lie.

So, are you willing to get real with yourself, starting today? Let’s find out.

Time to Get Real in 2015

I have to offer a quick disclaimer:

If you choose to ask yourself “how are you doing, really?” the answers you might find could hurt like hell.

  • You could find out that your marriage is a complete, loveless, soul-destroying joke.
  • You could find out that you deeply dislike yourself and/or the person you’ve become.
  • You could find out that the persistent pain in your abdomen is a lot more serious than you’ve been willing to admit.
  • You could find out that you’re still secretly wishing to be back with your ex.
  • You could find out that you’re pursuing a degree or a career that you have never really cared about because you didn’t want to let down your parents, your significant other or someone else in your life.
  • You could find out that you’ve been suppressing your true sexual orientation.
  • You could find out that you are terrified of having people at your job find out that you’re not as good as they think you are.
  • You could find out that you are depressed because you think that you’re failing as a parent.
  • You could find out that you really do have a substance abuse problem.

Contrary to what you might think, all of this is positive because all positive change starts with honesty and authenticity.

It doesn’t matter what you find, the key is that now is the time to get real and do something to positively deal with it. Nothing changes unless we do, and no amount of Keeping up with the Kardashians, playing Candy Crush on Facebook, or burying ourselves under mountains of work at the office will help us to get to where we need to be.

Committing to making 2015 our best year ever will require some serious work, and this work is not for everyone. Some people will read this and still choose to keep running from the feelings that they will never escape from. Other people will make the time to stop, look themselves in the eyes in a mirror, and ask this life-altering question:

“How are you doing, really?”

And if they find the courage to answer it honestly, it could have the power to positively change their lives forever.

This is what I want for us in 2015, and beyond.

Your Turn

Have you ever been afraid to get real with yourself by diving deep into how you’re truly feeling? Have you ever addressed how you’re really feeling and experienced any positive breakthroughs because of it? Either way, don’t hesitate to jump into the comments below and make your voice heard!

Shola

Shola

Founder of The Positivity Solution
Author, keynote speaker, and kindness extremist who is committed to changing the world by helping as many people as possible to live and work with more positivity.
Shola
Shola
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Comments

  1. Happy New Year, Shola!

    How am I? I am phenomenal! I agree that we need to ask ourselves that question on a regular basis and actually listen to the answer. I would add that we should ask those closest to us, also.

    For me, 2014 what a very successful year. I used gastric bypass surgery to lose 75 lbs. I quit my soul-sucking job and took one that is allowing me to do work I LOVE that actually helps other people! And I have developed a small group of people into a regular Bible study that has brought accountability and honesty to us all about the key to joy… ATTITUDES!

    I am so glad you are back! I missed you a lot, but was glad that you had taken the time to be with your family. I knew I’d manage okay in your absence lol

    I wish you and all of your followers a very blessed new year. And I am going to ask a few extra people today, “How are you?” and I am going to actually listen to what they say!

    • Happy New Year, Kathy! I can see why you’re doing phenomenally–those are some amazing things that you accomplished in 2014! And yes, you know that I’m completely with you about the importance of having the right attitude, that’s for sure :). Also, you are 100% right about asking the “How are you?” question to others too (and actually listening to the response too.)

      Thanks so much for your unwavering support, and here’s to an amazing 2015!

  2. Tessa Martom says:

    You are so right, every time someone asks me how I am I always say I’m fine, when the truth is right now I’m not fine. Right now I’m
    1) Scared actually petrified. Since I’ve been on this trial drug, I’ve lost over 100lbs (mostly water retention) all my bloods have been great, I went from taking insane amounts of insulin to taking none, I’m told I’m the only person in the world to do so great on this drug. I knew it couldn’t fix the damage but I was stable, I had hope that I would see my girls grow up, have their own families…now we’ve got a potentially huge problem. My blood pressure is low, to fix that all they need to do is lower my heart meds (I have arrythmia tachycardia….my heart is too fast and I miss beats) anyway my heart may be getting worse. On Wednesday I have to go to the hospital and have a 24 hour trace. In theory all they would do is increase my heart meds but they can’t do that because of my low blood pressure. Just something to remind me how sick I am.
    2) on top of this someone I thought of as a sister, has turned her back on me & my family. After 11 years of helping her escape her ex, who threatened my life and my children’s life…the worst of it is her ex husband told me she would do this to me when she had no use for me, so now I just feel like an idiot for trusting her in the first place…..ugh it’s so much easier to just so much to just say “I’m fine” lol

    • Whoa Tessa, that is some serious stuff to have to deal with, and there’s no way that I can even pretend to understand the resilience that it takes to fight through that on a daily basis. It’s completely okay to say that you’re scared and petrified instead of saying that you’re “fine” when you’re not. You’re going through a lot right now, not only with your health, but with your former friend too. As long as you continue to be honest with yourself about how you’re really feeling (even if you tell the world something different), you are putting yourself in a position to deal with those feelings in the most positive way possible. Most importantly, please know that I’m rooting for you as always 🙂

    • Tessa, saying a prayer for you. When it comes to chronic heath issues, sometimes it’s in our best interests to say fine– just so long as we know the truth. I’ve pretty much had to do that with family, who are not supportive of my health issues. It’s ok to pick and choose who we trust. I’m sorry you were hurt by someone you trusted. That hurts badly, I know. Hang in there. I’m rooting for you too. Xo

  3. Happy New Year Shola, and welcome back. Good for you, for knowing you needed to pay attention to yourself and your loved ones. I enjoyed reading the “Oldies But Goodies” posts, and that inspired me to browse the archive and read several more. This “How Are You Really” post is an awesome start to 2015. It’s become such a knee-jerk action, to make a list of things we want to do in the new year. What relevance does anyone’s list usually have for themselves on a deep, personal level? How many items on the list on just woulda/coulda/shoulda stuff, mainly to meet other people’s expectations? How many of those “To Dos” are just wishful thinking, with no relevance to one’s actual state of being? I was reading about New Year’s resolutions on another blog, I think it was The Paleo Mom, and she offered the advice that our list should be action-oriented, not goal-oriented. Example: Instead of saying “I will lose 10 pounds”, say “I will stop snacking on junk food before dinner every day, and I will spend that time taking a walk instead.” It seems to me, if I can look in the mirror, ask that “How am I really” question, and come up with honest answers, the To Do Action Items will write themselves, and I will be much more likely to follow through, as they will directly address that WHOLE question, which is, “How Am I Really, AND WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT???” Now I have to go look in the mirror. Bleh. Ok, I’m going, really, any minute now….

    • Right on, Donna! I’m honored to know that you spent some time going through the archives during my time away–how cool is that? Speaking of cool, I absolutely LOVE the advice that you shared from the Paleo Mom, and I’m definitely going to borrow it, effectively immediately. I have a lot of goals that I’m now going to change to be more action-oriented thanks to you (and Paleo Mom!)–for example, instead of paying off my student loans this year, I’m going to put an extra $200 toward my debt a month. That’s a game-changer for me, so seriously, thanks for sharing that nugget of brilliance 🙂

      Yes, taking the time to look yourself in the eyes and answer the “How are you?” question can be a game-changer too. But as you already know, if you have the guts to ask the question, then you also need to be prepared to have the real guts follow-through by taking action. Head over to the mirror Donna, you got this!

  4. Hey shola

    Great article.. I so agree with this question that we should ask ourselves. It does make us think about all the things we feel bad about but why feel sad about these little things. Let’s make a positive change to ourselves and start making a difference in our habits.. I know that somethings we can’t change and will give us a sense that we not good enough but that’s okay.. We will never be perfect. Truly the best thing that I realised in my life is that I trust god more than ever in all my affairs and I know that he can change my life because he has full control over me completely and only wants the best for me.. Your response will be greatly appreciated shola. You are truly an inspiring person.

    • Thanks so much for the kind words, Zubair! You said it best–all positive change begins with changing our habits. Taking the time to truly be in touch with how we’re feeling is the best habit that we can use in the new year, and beyond. Thanks for your comment, and here’s to an amazing 2015!

  5. PS Fan Girl says:

    Beautiful post, Shola! This is a topic that hits me hard–I spent too much of 2014 ignoring that question and burying myself in work, food, TV, bad relationships, you name it. But the answer kept bubbling up to the surface, crying out to be heard. I wasn’t “fine”. That can be really painful, and particularly difficult for a self-proclaimed positivity lover to admit. But I couldn’t keep numbing myself. No mantra or affirmation would let me skip over the step of acknowledging and truly feeling my reality.

    Instead of focusing on specific goals for 2015 (losing XX pounds in January, getting a new job, creating a business, meeting my soulmate), I’ve decided to focus on how I want to FEEL. My situation might not change immediately, but I can control how I feel right now (and every day!). Since I want to feel energetic, strong, and true to myself, I’m going to do things that create those feelings–exercising, setting healthy boundaries at work, pushing myself to build a business, community, etc. Milestones can be met, goals can be checked off, but if you aren’t FEELING good, your life isn’t fine. So I’m choosing to chase feelings instead of goals this year. Join me?!

    Happy 2015!!!

    • Hey PS Fan Girl! For some reason, I can’t seem to shake the idea that I know you from somewhere… 😉

      Wow, you nailed it 100% on the head. What you said in your comment was exactly what I was hoping to convey in this blog post. I’ve been there too–burying myself in work, food, drinking, dead-end relationships, the list goes on and on. It was only until I got real about how I was truly feeling did the soul-destroying cycle come to an end. You’re right–there’s no meditation, no mantra, no escape that could save me from acknowledging my pain before I could become healed. And like you said, what good is checking off goals and meeting milestones if you’re not feeling good? I’ll be right there with you focusing on how I’m feeling in 2015, and I’m confident that the goals will take care of themselves. Happy 2015 to us!!

  6. How private is your blog?

    • Hi Miranda–since anyone with a working internet connection or a reliable cell phone reception can read every word on this blog, this is probably as un-private as something could possibly get.

  7. Happy New Year!
    Today I am frustrated. Only because I’m trying to sign up my son for college and I don’t have the proper paper work for student aid. Other than that… I really cold as it’s 2* in Chicago.
    I always look on the sunny side of life so I’ll be my normal self soon.
    😀 Keep those chins up everyone!

    • Hang in there, Sharon! You’re going to need that sunny side if you’re dealing with 2-degree weather…brr. Good luck with your son’s college sign-up!

  8. Happy Holidays, Shola! I sincerely hope you enjoyed yourself. I sure needed the break away from my textbooks and lectures. I wanted to thank you for your blog post this Monday. I really needed something like it to kick start the new year. I followed your advice and decided to ask myself how I am really. I tried fairly hard to answer honestly, I could get out some things. I figured that was a good start – well, enough harsh eye-opening for one day. *smile* Anyway, aside from that: I wanted to ask a question, in regards to what happens next. What do you suggest I do now that I found out how I really am? Ask more questions? How in the world can I tackle this … confusion?

    You are a huge inspiration and help.

    …with lots of heartfelt thanks,

    T.M.E

    • Thanks for the kind words, T.M.E.! I can only speak to what has worked for me, but once I got clear on how I was really feeling, the next step for me was to determine what was the cause of those feelings. It’s weird, but once I knew what was causing my less-than-positive feelings, I almost instinctively knew what to do next. Start with finding the source of your pain (bad relationship, financial issues, your own negative self-talk, etc.) and then take real action to either eliminate or correct the issue ASAP. It’s not always easy, but I can say that the effort is always worth it in the end. Best of luck and there’s no doubt in my mind that you can effectively tackle this!

  9. Hi Shola, Happy 2015 to you and to all your followers
    The “How are you really” question is a masterpiece. I have spent the two weeks of Christmas Holidays, (Yes two weeks. I work in a secondary school) wondering just that, in a roundabout way. The first week I was totally confused, as I was over thinking work dramas, meetings, and facts and fabrications (I on the receiving end) from a toxic co worker. 2014 started off great, got a job on merit and fought to get an assistant who was keen, eager to please and learn the job and assist. A couple of months down the line this person started overpowering the direction and timings of jobs/tasks in hand. I didn’t think anything of it until three months ago- Restructure at work meant a promotion in my direction- Great!! New line manager who I really got on with, we just clicked and got the promotion, even better. Back to the Assistant. I think you can imagine what made the assistant “toxic”. From constant digs, undermining my decisions, talking under her breath, making fun and comments such as the promotions got to your head, going AWOL to backbite me to other staff, you get the picture…I took a stand by going to my line manager, sent emails. Separate meetings with both could not resolve the issues, finally a meeting with both of us and two managers. I went in prepared with questions, copies of emails and so on and the assistant armed with nothing but herself. She spoke first, turned the whole situation round, didn’t speak a single word of truth, on top of that she played the victim, I ended up looking the guilty party. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Two more meetings since, I’m being told to “Rise Above” our differences and move forward. Back to “How are you Really” question, I recognised that I felt degraded, humiliated, out of control, despite reading “The one minute manager meets the monkey” Great book as long as you’re not managing a narcissist!! Further more going back to “over thinking” the scenarios of how I’m going to tackle this mess at work without looking incompetent especially in front of my new boss, I have ended up sick, stressed, down in my mood and absent from work with a sick note – reason being “Stress” from my doctor. Great start to the New Year eh!! So Shola my friend, I know how I feel, the question is “What do I do about it?” and How? I hope you will be able to reply to my some what lengthy comment (I mean essay sorry lols). Your positivity and advice is what is keep my head above water. I welcome comments from anyone reading your blog, any advice would be very much appreciated.
    Thank you for you time,
    Nusrat

    • Hey Nusrat, thanks for your comment! That’s definitely not an enjoyable situation to be in, that’s for sure. There’s unquestionably something deeply wrong with your coworker, and it’s hard to dealing with people who aren’t completed grounded in reality and common professional courtesy. If it were me, I would initiate another conversation with her and make it clear (in a non-confrontational way) about the specific actions and behaviors that you want to have her stop immediately. I’m not saying that she’ll stop after you do that, but by being specific, at least she’ll know that you’re completely onto her ridiculous bullying games whenever she tries to use those behaviors on you in the future. Also, I would have another chat with your boss about how this situation is impacting you. Work should not have to be like this, and I’m so sorry that you’re being forced to deal with this. Hang in there!

      • Hey Shola my friend,
        Thank you very much for replying to my post and I very much appreciate your advice. I was still quite stressed and not up to going back to work so my doctor has signed me off again for a further two weeks. The reason for my absence from my doctor to my work “stress due to work/anxiety” and doc recommended a “separate work area”. So I am waiting for my boss or HR to contact me and see if they would be able to accommodate me. I love my job, and am capable of doing it well, I just cannot face going back to the same work station next to my toxic co worker. I can rising above it and leave it all behind me as long as I don’t face the same old rut. This is definitely having an effect on my health and its not fair on my family too. I know you don’t like the words “Cannot” very much, if there was another way I would be quite happy to meet my boss half way. I am optimistic though, see what the next few days bring. The ball is in their court so to speak.
        I will keep you posted with any updates from work.
        Thank you again for your wisdom, much love, Nusrat

  10. Shola…Welcome back and Happy New Year! I’m so happy that you had the time with your family and friends that you needed and deserved!!

    I have to admit that I am absolutely terrible at answering the “How are you?” question. Whether I ask myself or someone else asks me, the first words that come out of my mouth are “I’m fine, thanks.” Sometimes, that’s true and sometimes, it’s not. The interesting thing to me, is that when I ask this same question of others, it’s b/c I truly want to know. I’d rather talk about how other people are than how I am. I guess I should work on that, b/c I know that it’s important to take care of me too. I just seem to have a very difficult time with that…That’s one of the many reasons I love your blog. You always give me food for thought…

    Have a great week friend!

    • Right on Spring! I’m always down for bringing some extra food for thought to chew on ;). Believe me, I feel what you’re saying. I used to automatically answer the “how are you?” question from others with “I’m fine,” even when I wasn’t anywhere close to being fine (sadly, I still do that sometimes.) The good news is that I do it so much less now that I’m more connected with how I’m feeling. If you truly care about taking care of others (and I know that you do) then there’s no way that you can bring your best to them if you’re not taking care of yourself too. I’m not saying that it will be easy or fun, but if there’s something that I would suggest giving a try in 2015, it would be asking yourself the “how are you?” question and then honestly answering it. It really is a game-changer, my friend!

  11. Shola is back with another great blog. I asked myself the question while I was reading and came up with the quick answer and that is I’m unhappy. I will now try to access the reasons for that and hopefully change that one around. Thanks for the wake up call. You’re the best. A little off topic, I submitted my idea to combat workplace bullying to my boss and the training committee. My boss is not supportive at all showing how necessary that this needs to become a law. We will see what the committee says but I don’t expect much. I will stay positive though my friend. Later

    • Hi Jon,
      I hope you mind me jumping into discussion with your post above but I felt I have to get involved hear regarding “combating workplace bullying” as I have been on the receiving end of such poor behaviour from another adult in the workplace( as you may gather from my post above yours) I have been thinking exactly that, that there needs to be a stronger law than your line managers fobbing you off, following a workplace process and just ticking the boxes(They have done their bit) and expecting you to get on with it. It just goes to show that there are a lot of people in higher ranks not capable of tackling such issues. It would be great if we could share more and seek a solution with Sholas’ help and other people on the receiving end of such hurtful behaviour. Thanks for your time,
      Nusrat

    • Thanks for the kind words, Jon! I find it bizarre that workplace bullying isn’t taken more seriously–not just by your boss, but by society as a whole. If you decided to slap your female coworker on the butt tomorrow morning and make a lewd comment at her, I’m guessing that you’d be fired within minutes (and rightfully so.) If you went up and down the hallways dropping N-bombs on every black coworker that you see, I’m thinking that you’d also be fired pretty quickly (again, rightfully so.) But if a bully decides to intimidate, demean, or embarrass his coworkers/employees on a frequent basis, that’s rarely ever treated with the same urgency or importance. I don’t get it. I agree anti-bullying should become a law and it’s my dream that I’ll alive for long enough to see it happen. In the meantime, stay positive!

  12. HOW am I? I don’t know HOW or WHY I am, but many days, I am glad I am. Life is a miracle – a marvel! How are any of us? It’s simply amazing!

    How am I DOING? That’s easier to answer. Right now, I really am doing just fine. I’m thankful I have a job (which could be better, but could be worse) and have a reliable car (I hope – it’s -4 degrees Fahrenheit right now, and I sure hope it will start!) and I have many more blessings, too numerous to name here.

  13. Yep, 2014 started out well, didn’t keep going that way. But I’m back on a medication for my anxiety and things are already better. And this time, I’m not going off just cuz I feel better, because it’s still socially unacceptable to announce you have a mental illness, or whatever other excuse I try to convince myself of. I need this just like a diabetic needs insulin and that’s ok.

    Blessings to you and yours this year. I hope it’s awesome 🙂

  14. Hi Shola,
    You advised me to have another chat with my boss
    as to how the situation at work was impacting on me, so I sent an email to my boss with details of how the stress was causing me ill health including sleepless nights, down in my mood etc. and that I wanted to get better for my sake,and for family and work. My boss replied quite quickly in the evening- out of office hours but his email didn’t quite make sense. please see below in a very short email, these couple of sentences finished off the email with kind regards. As follows:
    “Please take as much time as you need to get better. Never feel under pressure to return to work, in fact don’t even think about it. It has a bit of always still being there, pretty much as you found it.”

    This did not make any sense to me, perhaps you could shed some light on what you think this paragraph means. My doctors note also told my employers that I was off with”Stress at Work” and a possible solution may be workplace adaptations as” Separate work place area” recommended. My boss has acknowledged that they have received my doctors note but have not mentioned the reason I am off work with stress or any solution.
    Shola I know how busy you are with all your followers, and work life balance, and you always have your lovely smile to keep everyone going and I’m very grateful for your input and advice that you have already given to me, I would be even more grateful if you could as a Psychologist analyse that paragraph for me. I feel that I am being made a subject of reverse psychology here. Thank you very much for your time, have a good week. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
    Kind regards, Nusrat

    • Honestly Nusrat, I have no clue what that sentence means–it doesn’t even make sense. It’s very strange. If you haven’t already, I would ask him for clarification about what he meant, because it’s very confusing to me too. And also, I’m not a psychologist, I’m just a guy who loves human psychology 🙂

  15. mukesh sharma says:

    HI Good morning Mr Shola, to answer the question, how am I feeling ? I really feel quiet fulfilled each day, but it does not mean that there are no challenges or no issues. After having work as an organic chemist for long 22 years, 6 months back I changed to Remediation department as some of our manufacturing sites are facing issues due to people behaviour . Descision to move this department was purely my own out of my emotions to repay my debt of gratitude in helping the organization I work for to get these sites move forward. The remediation of sites requires changing people culture, behavioural aspects, simplification of many complicated procedures and creating procedures where there are none. aprt from the other main aspect of checking the effectiveness of the way the various observations given by the regulatory agencies has been responded by the people at site. however, the cultural transformation and simpolification issues are not directly related to me and need support from other functions, my boss says you need not to focus on these isssues but I feel as none is taking responsibility i need to take this responsibility. I am not happy as i feel that the way remediation should happen is not happening that way and in this manner actual remediation is not happening.
    Other than this my life is fine, follows a philosophy based on the teachings of lotus sutra which keeps me motivated, I every day spend about 2 hrs, reaching out to people giving them hope and courage, saved some of the families on the path of either commmitting suicide or divorce. Purpose is to create value in the society while polishing your own self to become better human being. sometimes due to my office situation I feel irritated why people behave in thei manner, in society , office etc not behaving well and will do all sorts or indiciplinary things. Have a wish that if people behave well we all can lead much happier and better life Thanks

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