Living for Someday

If not now, when?

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies in us while we live.” -Norman Cousins

Do you know the exact moment when you’re going to die?

Don’t worry, you’re not alone–none of us knows for sure. It could happen 45 years from now, it could happen sometime in 2015, hell–it could happen this afternoon.

Just like you, I sincerely hope that it doesn’t happen this afternoon, but just like you, I have no clue if it will.

One thing that we do know for sure is that our deaths will happen. It’s not a matter of if, it’s only a matter of when.

Since we all agree on this, why do we act like we have all of the time in the world to do the things that we’ve always wanted to do, or much more importantly, to be the person who we’ve always wanted to be?

Let me be real with you:

You don’t.

Our death is one of the few things in this world that is 100% guaranteed, and each moment that passes is bringing us closer to that moment when it will all come to an end. No matter how hard you try, there is absolutely nothing that you can do to stop the sand from pouring out of your hourglass as you’re reading these words.

Pretty sobering, isn’t it?

No, this isn’t going to be a depressing blog post about death and dying (C’mon–this place is called The Positivity Solution, remember? We don’t do that stuff around here, people.)

This is about choosing to live intentionally. I’m not talking about doing it next week, or tomorrow, or “when you have more time” (as if that day will ever come), and definitely not “someday.”

I’m talking about choosing to live right now.

We literally don’t have the time to spare, and if for some reason you think that you have plenty of time to go after your hopes and dreams, I’m here to give you the swift kick in the ass (lovingly, of course) that you desperately need and deserve. 

No more hitting the snooze button, it’s time to wake up. Hopefully, before it’s too late.

The Most Dangerous Lie Of All

 There are seven days in the week and someday is not one of them.” -Unknown

There are so many dangerous beliefs out there that will completely derail your happiness, success, and sanity. But there are few things worse than putting your faith in this seemingly harmless word:

Someday.

Someday is not your friend.

It can steal your dreams, keep you hanging around in miserable situations far longer than you should, and slowly destroy your health without you even noticing that it’s happening.

That’s because “someday” is sneaky. It’s not as obvious of a life-stealer as fear, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s equally as dangerous. Maybe even more so.

Why?

Because it’s so easy to fall into someday’s life-destroying trap.

It’s easy to say that someday we’ll do what we’ve always dreamed of doing. Someday we’ll write that novel that’s been floating around in our brains forever. Someday we’ll develop the emotional maturity to stop yelling at people and acting like a 3-year old at the first sign of stress. Someday we’ll take action to lose the excess weight, get in shape and reclaim our health. Someday we’ll leave our emotionally-abusive relationships. Someday we’ll finally get our finances in order. Someday we’ll get professional help to deal with the deep-seated issues that have been silently tormenting us for years. Someday we’ll find inner peace.

Someday, someday, someday…

It’s like a warm security blanket that gives us the illusion that we’re actually going to do something about our hopes and dreams. It even feels good to say it.

Unfortunately, there’s a catch to this “someday” stuff, and it’s a big one.

What if someday never comes?

It won’t come, because it can’t come.

Someday isn’t real. It never was real. In fact, it’s a lie with only one deadly purpose:

To keep you stuck and powerless by shifting your attention away from the only day that truly matters.

The Day When You Saved Your Life

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: There is only one day on this earth that will ever matter:

Today.

You can only start getting out of debt today. You can only start honoring yourself and stop being someone’s doormat today. You can only stop smoking today. You can only start writing your novel today. You can only choose to fully love and accept yourself today.

You can’t do any of this tomorrow and you sure as hell can’t do it “someday.” And even if you could, why would you?

The clock is ticking, remember?

Each day where you choose “someday” over “today” is another day where you deny yourself of actually living your dream during your very limited (and constantly dwindling) time on this earth. 

Living intentionally is all about making the conscious choice to remember that fact.

If you’re currently saying “someday” to something that matters to you, it’s time to stop. If you’ve crafted a clever reason excuse why your dream has to wait until someday, I’m going to challenge you right now.

Be real with yourself, you know that there is something that you can do today to get you closer to your dream. It could be the smallest baby step in the world, but a baby step is better than no step at all.

On the other hand, believing in the lie that you’ll take the necessary action someday, will only succeed in putting you a little closer to the grave and a little farther away from your dream. It’s worth remembering this every time you choose to put off yours goals and dreams for a rainy day that doesn’t even exist.

Take it from a guy (aka, me) who believed in “someday” for way too long. And speaking from experience, believing in this lie comes with a serious price.

I’m awake now, and if your alarm clock is ringing, you can either hit the snooze button and wake up “someday,” or join me as someone who is committed to being consciously awake each and every day that we’re alive and breathing.

As they say, “a year from now, you’ll wish that you started today.”

That’s because today is the only day that matters.

Don’t wait until someday to make it count.

Your Turn

Is there an area of your life where you’re living for someday instead of today? Do you have a cautionary tale to share about why living for someday is a bad idea? If so, jump into comments below and make your voice heard!

Shola

Shola

Founder of The Positivity Solution
Author, keynote speaker, and kindness extremist who is committed to changing the world by helping as many people as possible to live and work with more positivity.
Shola
Shola
Shola

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Comments

  1. Excellent article about “Someday”. Honestly, it feels like it should be categorized in the BAD WORD department! Except, of course, that it has no meaning. It’s a waste of breath to even say it out loud 🙂 LOVE the way you uncovered the truth behind the word. It feels almost like the negative response to Faith. Kind of like, “I want it, but I don’t believe it will happen”…….maybe………someday……….I am going to consciously be aware of that word in my life and take steps to eliminate it completely TODAY! Thanks again for your great insight 🙂

    • Teresa, you are so right–someday should be at the top of the list bad words that have the power to destroy our lives. I like how you said that “someday” is like the opposite of faith because that’s so true. If you believe in yourself, you don’t say “someday I’ll be happy” or “someday I’ll get in shape.” Instead you just put your head down and take action TODAY. Thanks for reading, my friend!

  2. I don’t believe in “someday” – only in what I can do today! I came to realize that I am too old not to be taking responsibility for my own happiness. I have been extremely fortunate over the last couple of years mainly because I decided to do things for myself, while shedding the negative baggage. I am in a good place now emotionally and feel grateful for what I have received in my life. My Foundation is my way of trying to pay my debt to the universe. And that’s happening, not today, not someday, but RIGHT NOW!

    Your blog is brilliant, BTW.

    • That’s exactly what Being Your Own Hero is all about Charlie, and I’m glad that you didn’t wait until “someday” to launch your foundation! You said it best–our happiness is a responsibility that absolutely cannot wait for someday. We have to get it RIGHT NOW. Thanks for the kind words, my man!

  3. Serena Holmes says:

    First, I heard India Arie’s “Just Do You”, then I heard Tony Robbins reading an excerpt from “Awaken the Giant Within”, and now I’ve just finished your “Living for Someday” blog, and ALL of have referenced the novel that I plan to complete…..someday.

    Just got the news that one of my co-workers died and collapsed yesterday at 42. Indeed, Shola, today is the day.

    Thank you for spreading love and inspiration. Namaste.

    • Serena, as fellow big fan of both India Arie and Tony Robbins, I’m honored that you put my message in the same breath as those two! Please believe that you’re hearing this message for a reason. You need to sit down and start getting all of that brilliance out of your head and onto the computer screen TODAY. Your co-worker’s recent passing is one of the most powerful reminders in the world as to why we don’t have time to waste. Your novel doesn’t deserve to be written someday, the world needs to read it today. Namaste Serena, and good luck with the novel–make it happen!

  4. Shola,

    Man do I feel convicted. You got me right where I have been hiding. I actually got myself on it last night (I swear I had no idea you were going to write this today!!!) when I spent 3 hours doing online job applications and re-working my resume. And I made progress today when I worked closer to home so I could get a healthy lunch and walk in over lunchtime!

    I really need to stop thinking that everything will work out ‘someday’ and remind myself that I only have today. Each day, I only have today.

    Thank you for the awesome reminder! I’m really hoping to get my health and my stress level back on track in 2014!!!

    That’s my plan, anyway! 😉

    • Kathy, you know that I’m in your head–my job is to write exactly what you need to hear! 😉 I’ve declared war on “Someday” in 2014, because nothing in our lives will end up working out someday if we don’t completely take the time to own today. I’m right there with you, my friend!

  5. Shola I’m so glad that I found your wonderful blog and extremely powerful words. I am at the end of my rope at my present job. I have a horrible monster boss at a very good paying job with wonderful benefits. All I want to do is quit everyday and go back to finish what I started in culinary school 12 years ago. I want to cook. All day and night everyday. I can’t figure out how to do it…thank you for your words, someday huh?

    • I’m glad that you found me too, Jori! Believe me, I hear you–it might not be easy to walk away from a good paying gig with awesome benefits to pursue your life long culinary school dream. But I can promise you that it will be worlds easier than giving your best years to a soul-destroying job while simultaneously living in deep regret that you’re not going after a dream that you’re more than able to have now. One thing is for sure, when you’re ready, you will figure it out. Good luck my friend, and forget this “someday” business–get started TODAY!

    • “Jump and the net will appear,” No idea who gets the credit for this. It has shored me up many times as I tend not to be a risk taker-big mistake because “someday” I may not have the opportunity. Get out of that sucky job today.

  6. I am definitely guilty of this in some (not all) aspects of my life; primarily when it comes to breaking bad habits. I will do my best to work on getting better at this. In the mean time, I found two great quotes for you on the subject (since I know how much you love quotes). 🙂

    1. Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone. ~Pablo Picasso

    2. We are faced with the fact, my friends, that tomorrow is today. Procrastination is still the thief of time. Over the bleached bones and jumbled residues of numerous civilizations are written the pathetic words “Too Late”. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

    Have a wonderful week Shola!!

  7. I admit…I do it. But not today!
    Thanks,
    Kat

  8. I agree, Shola. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve put off being happy today, when what would make me happy was a relatively small, easy thing to do — turn on some music, work on a creative project, call a friend and chat. Instead, I focus on a to-do list that in the grand scheme of things probably didn’t matter much. It seems so crazy, and yet if I’m not careful I do it all the time.

    • Maria, believe me, I’m right there with you! I just bought a $20 waterproof bluetooth speaker so that I can listen to music or motivational speakers while I’m in the shower, just to keep me focused on being happy NOW. It’s amazing how such a simple idea can have such an impact on my happiness. You said it best, it’s so easy to put off our happiness, but it’s just as easy to focus on our happiness now.

  9. Heather Mabry says:

    I have found that people can develop a lot of motivation by setting those “baby step” goals. Sometimes it seems silly to my clients, but when they say “One of these days I want to go back to school,” we start identifying their first baby steps. By next week, you will look at three college websites to see what kind of school appeals to you. The next week, your goal is to request information from a school you’re interested in, and read it. A week or so later, your goal is to talk to someone there and just ask a few questions, no commitment, just call and make contact and learn a little more about the admissions process. A week or so later, go online and look at the FAFSA form and make a list of what you need…and so on. Setting a goal that is too far off or has an ill-defined timeline like “someday” means it is more of a fantasy, or a wish, than a goal. Goals have steps and progression and milestones. Baby steps might be small, but they still get you there 🙂

    • YES Heather! That’s exactly what I’m talking about. The reason why most people are so willing to say “someday” to their dreams is because they create a story in their heads about hard it will be to take action. All that we have to do is take baby steps. That’s it. Don’t smoke a cigarette today. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Or request information from a college that you’re interested in. That’s it. One thing is for sure: the person who takes baby steps everyday will be MILES ahead of the person who doesn’t even try. Well said, my friend!

  10. Matt Godsey says:

    A great example of “living today” that I have isn’t from my own experience first hand, but rather my dad’s. He was your typical office wage slave for about as long as I could remember, working long hours, coming home and sitting on the computer or watching tv, an didn’t really get much exercise and didn’t do anything to pursue his dreams or do what he really loved. Eventually, he started to get into martial arts, something he always loved and really wanted to do, but the years and years of abuse on his body caught up with him and he had a pretty bad heart attack during class one night. He was lucky to come out of it, and he came out of it a completely new person. Now, he’s cheerful, seizes every opportunity he has to do what he loves with the people he loves, and takes great care of his body because he knows that he has to today. He’s in the best health physically and mentally that I’ve ever seen and I couldn’t be more proud of him, he lives everyday for today. For me, it’s a great example and reminder of what can happen to a person if they put off living and living healthy for too long. Things can and will catch up to you, sooner or later, and not everyone is as lucky to survive a potentially fatal situation. Great food for thought 🙂

  11. Yeah. I use “someday” a lot too. But TODAY is the day I’ll stop using it.
    Today, I’ll start logging out of FB before 8 pm.
    Today, I’ll start to a lot a maximum of 15 mins a day playing CoC.
    Today, I’ll start to finish my assignments and design project, stop procrastinating with my studies, and be finished before the 1st day of classes of 2015.
    Today, I’ll stop being bitter with my happy friends, and stop minding about my haters.
    Today, I’ll love more.
    Today, I’m already awake.

    Thank you Shola for waking me up. Hands down!

Trackbacks

  1. […] That’s why we cannot wait a moment longer than necessary to live our best lives . We literally don’t have the time to wait to do it later. […]

  2. […] mean that much to you anyway, justify that you have all of the time in the world to do it later (even though you definitely don’t), and focus on things that are much easier and require much less […]

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