What Are You Willing to Give Up?

Young beautiful woman relaxing in hammock in a tropical resort.back view

You might have to give this up, especially if you really want your dream.

With the debut of my first book, Making Work Work, less than 30 days away (woohoo!), I’ve been asked a lot of questions about the book-writing process.

I was thinking about writing a blog post to specifically answer those questions, but I don’t want to bore the good folks reading this who have zero interest in writing a book (and I wouldn’t blame them!) But seriously, if anyone is interested in the nuts and bolts of the process, I’d be happy to write about it one day.

Until then, let’s talk about the part of the process that affects everyone. It’s the advice that I wish knew prior to starting, and as usual in my life, it’s advice that I ended up learning the hard way:

If you want to achieve your life’s dream, you must make peace with the fact that you’re going to have to give up something in order to achieve it. [Read more…]

Being a Fraud: Dealing With the Impostor Syndrome

Lonely young man outside at house balcony looking depressed destroyed sad and suffering emotional crisis and grief on an urban background

Do you think that you’ve fooled the world into believing that you’re smart and capable? Then you might suffer from the Impostor Syndrome.

Have you felt it before?

The sinking feeling that you’ve been fooling everyone into thinking that you’re better, smarter and more qualified than you really are?

If so, there’s an official name for this issue.

This insidious mind virus is known as The Impostor Syndrome, and here’s an excellent definition of it, courtesy of Fast Company:

Impostor syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to see their own accomplishments, dismissing them as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.”

The good news is that if you’re thinking that you’re alone in feeling like a fraud–you’re not. I’m right there with you.

Here’s my story, and more importantly, here’s how we can win the fight against Impostor Syndrome, starting today. [Read more…]

The Illusion of Better

Yeah…I’m guessing that this guy probably thinks that he’s better than you.

Here is what I believe.

If you’re the type of guy/gal who is super sweet and nice to the CEO (or any executive) of your company, but you also consistently treat the janitors or the front line staff in your company like crap, then there’s no doubt in my mind that you’re a horrible person.

Yeah, I said it.

Sadly, I’m starting to lose count of the amount of people who I encounter at work, and outside of work, who act this way. It’s sickening, it’s destructive, and most of all, it has to stop.

So, why do some people act this way?

From what I’ve seen, it all comes to down to one destructive belief:

The Illusion of Better. [Read more…]

When Others Want You To Stay Small

Some people want you to live small. Don't let them.

Some people want you to stay small. Don’t let them.

I’m sure that this won’t surprise you in the slightest bit, but there are quite a few “enemies of positivity” in this world.

I’ve already talked about how to tap into your “infinite fuel” to plow through the naysayers and skeptics who don’t believe that you have what it takes to reach your wildest dreams.

I’ve already talked about how to easily wipe the floor with the haters, trolls, and the other broken souls who get off on telling you how pathetic you are (they’re wrong about that, by the way.)

Unfortunately, there’s another group of people who don’t quite fit into either category, and they can wreak havoc on your happiness and sanity, if you let them.

You may work with these people, be friends with these people (which is a terrible idea, by the way), be related to these people, or you might even be married to a person who falls into this category.

These are the people who desperately want you to live a life that’s smaller than the life you’re capable of living.

The good news is that living a “small life” is a choice.

And it’s a choice that you don’t ever have to make. [Read more…]

Make Someone’s Day, Every Day

a portrait of a happy child

What if you could inspire this reaction in everyone you met? Well, maybe you can.

Last month I was traveling for business, and I was grabbing a bite to eat inside of an incredibly busy airport restaurant.

The guy who was serving me was visibly stressed out, sweating profusely, and became extremely flustered when I asked him basic questions about the menu. So, I put the menu down and looked him in the eye and gently asked him a question.

“Hey man, not to pry…but, are you okay?”

It was crazy–just the act of asking him that simple question changed his entire demeanor. It was like a 50 lb weight was lifted off of his back.

He sighed, and then he told me that he just started at the restaurant yesterday and that this was his first shift alone. He then shared how much he needed this job, and how determined he was not to screw up this opportunity, even though he (admittedly) barely knew what was on the menu.

Unfortunately, we didn’t chat for very long because he was being pulled in every direction by all of the customers he was serving–many of which, were not very kind or patient with him.

I felt terrible for him–he was clearly trying his best, and I wanted to do something to help. So, when my bill came, I left him a tip that was more than the price of the meal (in case you’re mistaking me for a big baller, it was only $20), and a note that said:

“Remember, with everything that’s new, it’s always hard before it’s easy. Hang in there–you got this!”

Afterward, I went to the restroom, and as I walked out of the restroom and headed out of the restaurant to catch my flight, I was practically tackled by my waiter.

I still can hear the enthusiasm in his voice as he gave me a hug, “Duuuuuuuude! Thank you so much! That was so cool of you–you just made my day!”

And because of that, my day was made too. [Read more…]

The Gift in Our Pain

Girl Sits In A Depression On The Floor Near The Wall

Sometimes, our pain is a beautiful thing.

There is a gift in our pain.

That might sound strange (or insensitive) for me to say, especially if you’re dealing with something really painful in your life right now.

What is the “gift” in going through a divorce, dealing with a bully boss, or struggling to make ends meet financially? That doesn’t even begin to mention the impossibility of finding a “gift” in developing a life-altering medical condition, having a child die, or being the victim of sexual assault.

To be very clear, I am in no way saying that those events are a gift. They’re not, and it would be insulting for anyone to say otherwise.

What I am saying is that after an intensely painful event, many people do uncover a special gift that they might have been unaware of before:

The awareness of how strong they truly are. [Read more…]