What You Allow

What you allow is what will continue

Having a doormat is good. Being one? Not so good.

In my opinion, you can throw every other motivational quote in this world’s history out of the window if you choose to embrace the epicness of the following quote:

What you allow is what will continue.” -Unknown

If you think about it, what in the world could possibly be more motivational and empowering than knowing that we are always in complete control of what we allow into our lives?

I’ll even take it a step further.

I believe that if we remember this quote and live the truth in this quote on a daily basis, our lives and our world would become more positive in an instant.

But let’s be real.

Lots of people know that quote is true, but they keep allowing the same crap to flow into their lives anyway. Predictably, what will continue to faithfully show up in their lives is more of the crap that they’re trying to avoid.

Maybe you’re one of those people.

I know that I used to be. Actually, in many areas of my life, I still am that person.

I want this post to serve as your wake-up call. Scratch that, OUR wake-up call.

We’re in this together.

Effective immediately, it is time for you, me, and anyone else who is reading these words to become more mindful of what we allow into our lives.

This is too important to wait a moment longer. [Read more…]

The Love That Will Save the World

Tree of love

This is where all meaningful love begins.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day! YAY!

Okay, enough with the fake enthusiasm. Some people believe that Valentine’s Day is the best day on the calendar for celebrating love. I respectfully disagree with them.

It’s supposed to be a day of celebrating love, but it has morphed into a bizarre competitive sport where people are focused on comparing the size of their flower bouquets to their coworkers’ flower bouquets to see who is “loved the most” (but that’s a topic for a different day.)

And more importantly, shouldn’t we be celebrating love every day?

That’s what I want to talk about: Celebrating love. Every. Single. Day.

But I’m not talking about romantic love, the love you have for your friends, or even the love that you have for your kids.

I want to talk about the love that has the power to save the world:

Self-love.
[Read more…]

Love or Fear: The Choice That’s Facing America (and the World)

Sad lonely patriot woman sitting down with the american flag wrapped around her. Deployment military life and relationship concept

Love or Fear–what’s it going to be, America?

This has been a pretty brutal summer.

In the past seven days, we have seen the police kill two men in an incomprehensible manner. We have seen five police officers killed in cold blood in the line of duty. We have watched race relations disintegrate, anger and mistrust reach a fever pitch, and blame for the world’s problems being slung around like Halloween candy on social media pages.

Regardless of who you are, the unfortunate reality that we all share is that we are currently living in a world with far more questions than answers.

And, as a black man who writes about positivity, quite a few people have hit me up in the past few days to ask me for answers to these very tough questions.

Most of them were a variation of this one:

“The world is circling the drain right now. What can we do to make a positive change in the face of such unrelenting negativity?”

I have an answer.

The problem with my answer is that many people won’t have the guts, resilience and mental toughness to even try it once they hear what it is. Which is completely fine, because I’m not writing this for them anyway.

For the rest of us, read on. [Read more…]

Being Your Own Hero

Being your own hero

Be your own hero.

One day I was teaching a customer service class, and I remember a woman complaining non-stop about how miserable she was in her job.

She went on and on about how she hated all of her coworkers, she hated her boss, she hated serving customers, and most of all, she felt like her job was taking years off of her life due to “being around stupid people all day.”

When she was done with her rant, I asked her a very obvious question that she probably should have asked herself years ago:

“If you’re so miserable here, shouldn’t you consider finding another job that will make you happy?”

She was completely shocked by my question, before she finally responded.

“Well, I have bills to pay and I need this job. But that’s not even the issue. I just don’t understand why this company has so many idiots working here. They should be the ones who have to quit, not me…” Blah, blah, blah.

On and on she went. It was truly sad to listen to her.

She believed that the responsibility for fixing her unhappiness in her job belonged to her company, to her coworkers, and to her boss.

The fact is, no one is going to save her from a job that she hates–least of all, the “idiots” who she hates working with.

But I know who can. [Read more…]

Do You Really Want It?

Door To Brick Wall

What do you see–a barrier or an opportunity?

A while ago, I ran into one of my old coworkers at the grocery store.

We used to work together at the soul-destroying hellhole that I’ve described in other blog posts in the past. I haven’t seen this woman at all since I left that place for good many years ago, and I was very curious to find out if she was still working there.

One thing that I knew for sure was that she hated at working at that place as much, if not more, than I did.

Surely, she escaped and was joyfully working in a happy and healthy work environment, right?

Well…

Here’s a brief nugget from our conversation in the grocery store:

Me: “Hey, so are you still working at (company that is so wretched and awful that it cannot be named)?”

Ex-coworker (obviously embarrassed): <Deep sigh>“Yeah I am, but…”

To be honest, I stopped listening at that point.

I know that sounds harsh, but let me explain. [Read more…]

What Judging Others Reveals About You

outcast girl

Do you know what judging others reveals about you? A lot.

Judgment can really be an ugly thing.

A few months ago, I was line at the gym waiting to swipe my membership card to enter the gym for my morning workout when I heard something disturbing.

Two women who were ahead of me in line started chuckling to themselves and commenting about a woman inside of the gym.

Lady #1: “I wonder if fat-ass Shamu is here this morning.” (Side note: In case you didn’t know, “Shamu” is the name of the huge killer whale at Sea World.)

Lady #2 (pointing at an overweight woman on an elliptical machine wearing a black-and-white outfit): “Yep, there she is! God, she is such a pig!”

Then they both swiped their membership cards and chuckled their way inside of the gym.

Yes, these were grown women in their 30’s, who got their jollies by making fun of a woman who was working hard to positively deal with the issue that they were currently laughing at her for (if that makes any sense.)

Yes, judgment really is such an ugly thing.

Unfortunately for those two women, what they didn’t realize is that their comments about that woman told me (and the world) so much more about them than it did about that woman. [Read more…]