The Pain That You Should Be Thankful For

Do you feel his pain? I do.

I absolutely LOVE Thanksgiving.

Food, family, friends, football, fun (did I get all of the “F’s”?), make this the one holiday that I look forward to the most every year.

In addition to all of the F’s, what I also love about this time of year is that we get to mindfully reflect on what is really important in our lives, and simply be in gratitude, at least for a day.

I urge you to consistently remember what it is that you’re thankful for, not just on Thanksgiving, but every day of your lives.

But that’s not what this article is about.

Let’s be real–chances are that if you’re choosing to read The Positivity Solution, you are already aware of the importance of being thankful for your health, your spouse, your kids, your home, your friends, your family and your job.

So, let’s raise the stakes a little.

This Thursday before we slip into our yearly blissful tryptophanic food coma, my goal is to add a new and very important thing to the many things that you are the most thankful for.

Truthfully, it could save your life. [Read more…]

Bullied No More: The End of Workplace Bullying

Workplace bullying

This is NOT the guy who you want to spend 40 hours a week with.

Shola’s Note: October is National Bullying Awareness month, and I am ready to shine as bright of a light as I can on this hideous epidemic this month, and beyond. Workplace bullying is destroying lives, and it’s time for us to put a stop to it. If you don’t think that Workplace Bullying is “a thing,” just read the comments below for a serious wake-up call. And because of this, I’m taking the next step to bringing attention to (and ideally, ending) this soul-destroying issue, with my debut book, Making Work Work. For more info about the book and the workplace movement we’re creating, read this post.

I know, I know…”hate” isn’t the most positive word in the world, and it’s not one that I throw around loosely, but I can’t think of a word that describes my feelings for bullies more accurately than hate. “Extreme dislike” is too weak for me.

Keep reading and I’ll explain exactly why.

Bullying in any form is unquestionably terrible, but I want to focus on a form of bullying that doesn’t always get the attention that it deserves.

Specifically, I’m talking about workplace bullies.

Bullying in the workplace has reached near-epidemic status, and it’s time that we put an end to this behavior once and for all. This may sound ambitious, but my goal is that this post will mark the beginning of the end of bullying in the workplace.

I’m dead serious about making this happen. People have suffered for far too long at the hands of these sociopaths, and I’m calling for it to end now.

And just like anything, it all begins with you.

The future of the workplace as we know it depends on all of us taking control of our work lives and eradicating workplace bullies starting today.

In other words, it’s time for us to be the heroes in our own workplace story.

Fair warning, this isn’t going to be easy–but then again, this isn’t about doing what’s “easy.”

This is about doing what’s necessary.

There’s a lot to dive into, so let’s get to it. [Read more…]

Addition By Subtraction

Addition by Subtraction

Sometimes, it’s best to walk away.

Have you ever dealt with an incredibly difficult person before?

I know, I know. Ridiculous question, right? Of course you have.

I bet that it was a miserable experience, wasn’t it?

I believe that one of the hardest things that we have to endure in our lives is dealing with difficult people. In fact, it’s so tough that I even wrote a free guide to help you navigate through the challenges of it (if interested, you can get it instantly by subscribing to The Positivity Solution.)

In this post, I’m going to take it a step further.

Specifically, I’m going to talk about the people who are, without a doubt, the worst of the worst. While it’s true that difficult people are fairly common, the people that I’m about to mention, thankfully, are very rare.

I’m talking about toxic people.

These folks are dangerous and have the power to destroy your life if they are not dealt with swiftly.

The only way to deal with these people is to fully embrace the “addition by subtraction” philosophy.

I can promise you that using this technique when it comes to dealing with toxic people will positively change your life in ways that you wouldn’t even imagine. [Read more…]

Rise of the Nice Guy

His days of finishing last are officially over.

Can I let you in on a little secret?

Do you know the one thing that I want more than almost anything?

A new car? A bigger house? More zeroes at the end of my paycheck? More Twitter followers?

None of those things are even close.

I want a nicer world.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever shared this here on The Positivity Solution, but this simple goal is the passion that drives pretty much all of my actions on a daily basis.

Let’s be real–this world need more kindness.

We need more civility. We need more positivity. Simply put, we need to treat each other better at work, at home, everywhere.

I’ll admit that I’m a little weird when it comes to the topic of kindness.

When I see people treated poorly, it really bothers me. A LOT.

Some people are able to shrug it off and ignore it, but I can’t for some reason. In fact, when I see other people being treated horribly, it has been known to literally ruin my day.

This particular situation caused me to lose sleep for the entire weekend after I witnessed it.

Yes, seriously.

My friends joke that I was born with the “empathy gene on steroids.” I actually used to think  that it was a curse to hurt so deeply for other people.

This might sound weird to some people reading this, but there have been many private moments in my life where I wished that I didn’t care so much.

I don’t wish for that anymore. Now I wish for something far more meaningful:

A nicer world.

Actually, I’m far past “wishing” for it. I’m ready to take action. I want to create a movement.

Here. Today. Now.

I have finally accepted that my particular reason for being on earth is throw my heart and soul into making this a world a nicer place.

Someone has to do it, right?

The thing is, now I really want this responsibility. Besides taking care of my family, there’s nothing that I will ever do personally or professionally that will be more important than this.

In order to make it happen, we’re going to need a plan.

Here it is. [Read more…]

What’s Really Important

Is it really important to be busy?

Don’t mistake movement for achievement. It’s easy to get faked out by being busy. The question is: Busy doing what?” – Jim Rohn

Isn’t it funny that when many people are asked the simple question, “hey, how are you doing?” that they often answer in the same predictable manner:

“Man, I’m SO busy.”

“Ugh, I’m busy as hell.”

“I’ve never been so busy in my life.”

Busy.

It’s almost as if that word carries with it some invisible street cred. I personally know of quite a few people who proudly rock “busy” as a shiny badge of honor.

Unfortunately, there’s nothing impressive about being “busy.”

We all know of at least one “busy” person in our lives who is always running around doing something, but in reality, he/she isn’t accomplishing a damn thing.

That’s because proudly saying that we’re “busy” all the time doesn’t mean that we’re actually doing anything important.

So, let’s start here with that critical word.

Important.

What is important, anyway?

[Read more…]

Just Today

Enjoy the view from the only day that truly matters.

What if I told you that I wanted to share with you the secret to everlasting success and happiness?

Would you be willing to hear me out?

I hope so.

However, what if I also told you that putting this “secret” into action might be the hardest thing that you’ll ever do in your life?

Still interested?

Good.

As much as I wish that I could take any credit for the awesomeness of this secret, I can’t.

That’s because I discovered it by accident–and I did it at work, of all places.

Let me explain. [Read more…]