The Pain That You Should Be Thankful For

Do you feel his pain? I do.

I absolutely LOVE Thanksgiving.

Food, family, friends, football, fun (did I get all of the “F’s”?), make this the one holiday that I look forward to the most every year.

In addition to all of the F’s, what I also love about this time of year is that we get to mindfully reflect on what’s really important in our lives (you know what that is, right?), and simply be in gratitude, at least for a day.

I urge you to consistently remember what it is that you’re thankful for, not just on Thanksgiving, but every day of your lives.

But that’s not what this blog post is about.

Let’s be real–chances are that if you’re choosing to read this blog, you are already aware of the importance of being thankful for your health, your spouse, your kids, your home, your friends, your family and your job.

So, let’s raise the stakes a little.

This Thursday before we slip into our yearly blissful tryptophanic food coma, my goal is to add a new and very important thing to the many things that you are the most thankful for.

Truthfully, it could save your life. [Read more…]


Stop Waiting Until You Feel Like It

tired or bored little girl sitting on a bench in a park, black and white image

This little girl is definitely not feeling it today. What about you?

Last night, my wife and I had an epic standoff with our oldest daughter (she’s 6, if you were wondering.)

To make a long story very short, my daughter wasn’t feeling well and we needed her to take some medicine that she really needed to take before she went to bed. Predictably, she thought that the medicine would taste “yucky,” so she defiantly folded her arms made it very clear that she wasn’t having any of it.

Don’t worry, this isn’t a blog post detailing the painfully boring details of the standoff (and besides, if you’re a parent reading this, then you already know how these stories end, right?)

The good news is that after nearly an hour (yes, an hour!) she finally gave in, but that’s actually not the point. It’s what my daughter kept saying over and over again that inspired me to write this blog post.

Repeatedly, she said, “I don’t waaaaaant to!” or “I don’t feeeeeeeel like it!”

That’s not terribly surprising, though. She’s six years old. Kids rarely choose to do things that they don’t feel like doing, do they?

And that leads me to our problem.

There aren’t any kids reading this blog. [Read more…]


41 Things That You Don’t Know About Me


Year Three: The Year of Courage

You might already know this, but today (November 2nd) is my 41st birthday!

And to celebrate, I don’t want to write a blog post for me–as always, this is about us.

Specifically, it’s about creating an even deeper connection with you by sharing how much we have in common–and I’m willing to bet that it’s more than you thought before reading this blog post.

As you probably know, one thing that I do around here is mark my birthday as my own personal New Year, as opposed to January 1st (makes sense, doesn’t it?) Also, I have celebrated three birthdays at The Positivity Solution, and each year had a central theme.

Year One was all about authenticity, Year Two (last year) was all about perseverance.

This year’s theme is going to be all about courage.

This year, I am going to step outside of my comfort zone big time and do some new and exciting things for myself and for The Positivity Solution. I know that I’m going to have to push through some significant fears and insecurities this year if I’m going to make my goals real, and if you have huge goals too, I’m excited for us to make them all happen together.

Say it with me: Courage, baby!

Also, in what’s becoming a little bit a of a tradition on my birthday, I wanted to share with you 41 random things about me that you probably don’t know about me.

I’ve done this for the past two years, and since it is such a big hit and a great way to make an even deeper connection with the only reason why I’m here (that’s you, by the way), I figured why not do it again?

Some are new, some are repeats from last year for the many new readers in the house, but all should give you a little deeper insight into who I am and why I’m here.

Without further ado, here they are in no particular order. Enjoy!  [Read more…]


Falling Into the Trap

Happy urban city couple on travel in Barcelona taking selfie self portrait photograph with smart phone camera. Happy young man and woman on Placa de Catalunya, Catalonia Square, Barcelona, Spain.

Don’t you wish that your life was this good? Well, maybe it is.

Have you fallen into the trap before?

If you’re not sure what I’m referring to, let me give you a recent example.

I have a friend who recently started graduate school to get her Master’s Degree, and if you ever met her in person, you’d probably agree that she has everything together. She’s smart, funny, down-to-earth, beautiful inside-and-out, ambitious–she’s just the complete package in every way.

That’s why I was so shocked to hear her admit how nervous she was to start school. More specifically, the reason why she was so nervous.

“Shola, there are so many perfect people at this school. I spent close to an hour on Facebook last night looking up a few of my new classmates, and they are all beautiful, super-smart, and basically flawless. How am I going to be able to keep up with these people? I’m screwed.”

This is the trap. 

The sure-fire way to know that you have fallen into it is if you are measuring your self-worth against what you see from your friends, family, or anyone else on your social media pages (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.)

Sadly, my good friend fell into the trap face first. Then again, so have I on numerous occasions. I bet if you’re willing to keep it real, you probably have too.

This is the challenge that we’re up against.

It’s very tempting to fall into this convincing trap, and if you do it often, you are in for a world of pain that could be so easily avoided.

Let’s talk about how to sidestep this fate while also maintaining our sanity. [Read more…]


It’s Time to Decide

Handsome young man on a lake's shore in a sunny, peaceful day, standing. Black and white shot

Your life is in front of you. What are you planning to do with yours?

Do you want to know the secret to living the most positive life possible?

Lean closer, because I don’t want too many people to be disappointed when they hear this.

Ready? Here it is:

There is no secret.

Sorry, but it’s true. You already know exactly what you need to do to make your life more positive than it already is right now, and it’s far from a secret.

It could be quitting your miserable job, starting a new business, walking away from a terrible relationship, losing excess weight, digging yourself out of debt, or creating more quality time with your family.

Whatever it may be, I’m confident that you know what you could do immediately to make your life more positive than it is right now.

The real question that needs to be answered is: Why aren’t you doing it?

That’s what I want to talk about. [Read more…]


Bullied No More: The End of Workplace Bullying

Workplace bullying

This is NOT the guy who you want to spend 40 hours a week with.

Shola’s Note (10/12/2015): “In honor of National Bullying Prevention Month, I’m re-posting this blog post in hopes of drawing more attention to the devastating effects of workplace bullying. If you don’t think this issue is a big deal, just read the comments below for a serious wake-up call. Workplace bullying destroys lives, and it’s time for us to put a stop to it.”

I know, I know…”hate” isn’t the most positive word in the world, and it’s not one that I throw around loosely, but I can’t think of a word that describes my feelings for bullies more accurately than hate. “Extreme dislike” is too weak for me.

Keep reading and I’ll explain exactly why.

Bullying in any form is unquestionably terrible, but I want to focus on a form of bullying that doesn’t always get the attention that it deserves.

Specifically, I’m talking about workplace bullies.

Bullying in the workplace has reached near-epidemic status, and it’s time that we put an end to this behavior once and for all. This may sound ambitious, but my goal is that this post will mark the beginning of the end of bullying in the workplace.

I’m dead serious about making this happen. People have suffered for far too long at the hands of these sociopaths, and I’m calling for it to end now.

And just like anything, it all begins with you.

The future of the workplace as we know it depends on all of us taking control of our work lives and eradicating workplace bullies starting today.

In other words, it’s time for us to be the heroes in our own workplace story.

Fair warning, this isn’t going to be easy–but then again, this isn’t about doing what’s “easy.”

This is about doing what’s necessary.

There’s a lot to dive into, so let’s get to it. [Read more…]