The Epic Gift of Silence

Shhhh - Quiet, Silence, Secret Gesture, Young Handsome Man..

I think you’ve said enough.

I think that it’s time that you stop talking.

I’m not trying to be rude, but seriously–stop talking.

Before you think this another one of my infamous April Fools pranks, I promise that I’m being dead serious. This topic is too important to mess around with.

Speaking of important, we all have a dream right?

  • Maybe it’s about finding a better job.
  • Maybe it’s about finding true love.
  • Maybe it’s about losing all of that extra weight and finally getting in shape.
  • Maybe it’s about leaving a toxic relationship.
  • Maybe it’s about going back to school.
  • Maybe it’s about writing that book, starting that blog or releasing that album.
  • Maybe it’s about getting professional help to deal with an addiction, health problem or personal issue that has been plaguing us.
  • Maybe it’s about getting out of debt and building a savings account.
  • Maybe it’s about confronting that big fear that’s been holding us back from living our best lives.
  • Maybe it’s simply about being happy and finding the inner peace that’s eluding us.

Truthfully, the issue isn’t about the dream.

The real issue is that most people make a huge mistake after they decide on their dream (or any life change, to be honest.)

They start talking.

Usually, way too much.

My hope is that you won’t be one of those people. Your dream deserves the gift of your silence.

Here’s why.

[Read more…]


Waiting For Happiness

Waiting to find happiness? If so, you’re in for a long wait.

Please take a moment to marinate in an excerpt from one of my favorite books of all-time. If you have kids, you should probably recognize it instantly:

[You’ll] grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place.

…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go,

or bus to come, or a plane to go,

or the mail to come, or the rain to go,

or the phone to ring or the snow to snow,

or waiting around for a Yes or No,

or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite,

or waiting for wind to fly a kite,

or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake,

or a pot to boil, or a Better Break,

or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants,

or wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.

NO! That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying.

You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing.”

-Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

Do you know what a “Boom Band” is? Yeah, I’m not entirely sure either.

Here’s what I do know, though.

No one likes waiting. 

Unfortunately, besides the fact that it’s a less-than-enjoyable thing to do, waiting can also be incredibly dangerous too.

This is especially true when it comes to waiting for happiness.

Like the good Dr. Seuss said, it’s time to escape all that waiting and staying.

I might not know exactly what Boom Bands are, but I know that they’re good. More importantly, I happen to know exactly where the Boom Bands are playing too.

It’s time that we pay that place a visit. [Read more…]


Keeping it Real

Young Depressed Man Lost In Sadness And Sorrow Holding Paper Wit

Keeping it real is harder than you may think.

Shola’s Note (4/2/2015): Since April Fool’s Day is now officially over, I’m adding this disclaimer. Please know that what you’re about to read below is an April Fool’s joke (and a good one too!) I don’t want any new readers who stumbled over to this blog for the first time thinking that I’ve lost my mind or something. With that said, enjoy! 

This blog post has been a long time in the making.

It’s hard to admit when you’re wrong sometimes, and it’s even more difficult when you decide to do so on a very public forum like a blog.

Even though all of that is true, I’m still going to do it anyway. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t have much of a choice.

Here goes nothing…

I’ve been wrong about everything.

Okay, maybe not everything, but it’s pretty damn close.

This has been a really tough couple of weeks for me, to be honest. I’ve spent a lot of time deeply examining what I’ve been doing here on The Positivity Solution, and I walked away with the realization that some serious changes need to be made around here.

Questioning everything that you’ve ever believed in is an incredibly humbling experience. It’s a lot more humbling when you realize that a great deal of what you believed in was totally wrong.

In some very private moments, a few of my closest friends/family became aware of how close I was to permanently shutting down this blog for good. I almost took the coward’s way out and bailed out on all of you without any explanation.

No matter what I’m going through, you guys deserve more than that from me.

In the words below, I’m going to do my best to “man up” by facing each of you and explaining specifically how I ended up getting so many things, so incredibly wrong on this blog. Admittedly, I’ve had quite a few private moments in the past few weeks where I struggled mightily to fight back tears as I sorted out the mess in my brain.

The words you’re about to read are intended to help sort out that mess in my brain. This won’t be easy for me, but I’ve already waited long enough to do this and I won’t wait a moment longer to share my thoughts with you.

Welcome to the most challenging post that I have ever written. [Read more…]


Being Your Own Hero

Being your own hero

Be your own hero.

One day I was teaching a customer service class, and I remember a woman complaining non-stop about how miserable she was in her job.

She went on and on about how she hated all of her coworkers, she hated her boss, she hated serving customers, and most of all, she felt like her job was taking years off of her life due to “being around stupid people all day.”

When she was done with her rant, I asked her a very obvious question that she probably should have asked herself years ago:

“If you’re so miserable here, shouldn’t you consider finding another job that will make you happy?”

She was completely shocked by my question, before she finally responded.

“Well, I have bills to pay and I need this job. But that’s not even the issue. I just don’t understand why this company has so many idiots working here. They should be the ones who have to quit, not me…” Blah, blah, blah.

On and on she went. It was truly sad to listen to her.

She believed that the responsibility for fixing her unhappiness in her job belonged to her company, to her coworkers, and to her boss.

The fact is, no one is going to save her from a job that she hates–least of all, the “idiots” who she hates working with.

But I know who can. [Read more…]


What You Allow

What you allow is what will continue

Having a doormat is good. Being one? Not so good.

In my opinion, you can throw every other motivational quote in this world’s history out of the window if you choose to embrace the epicness of the following quote:

What you allow is what will continue.” -Unknown

If you think about it, what in the world could possibly be more motivational and empowering than knowing that we are always in complete control of what we allow into our lives?

I’ll even take it a step further.

I believe that if we remember this quote and live the truth in this quote on a daily basis, our lives and our world would become more positive in an instant.

But let’s be real.

Lots of people know that quote is true, but they keep allowing the same crap to flow into their lives anyway. Predictably, what will continue to faithfully show up in their lives is more of the crap that they’re trying to avoid.

Maybe you’re one of those people.

I know that I used to be. Actually, in many areas of my life, I still am that person.

I want this post to serve as your wake-up call. Scratch that, OUR wake-up call.

We’re in this together.

Effective immediately, it is time for you, me, and anyone else who is reading these words to become more mindful of what we allow into our lives.

This is too important to wait a moment longer. [Read more…]


Do You Really Want It?

Door To Brick Wall

What do you see–a barrier or an opportunity?

A while ago, I ran into one of my old coworkers at the grocery store.

We used to work together at the soul-destroying hellhole that I’ve described in other blog posts in the past. I haven’t seen this woman at all since I left that place for good many years ago, and I was very curious to find out if she was still working there.

One thing that I knew for sure was that she hated at working at that place as much, if not more, than I did.

Surely, she escaped and was joyfully working in a happy and healthy work environment, right?


Here’s a brief nugget from our conversation in the grocery store:

Me: “Hey, so are you still working at (company that is so wretched and awful that it cannot be named)?”

Ex-coworker (obviously embarrassed): <Deep sigh>“Yeah I am, but…”

To be honest, I stopped listening at that point.

I know that sounds harsh, but let me explain. [Read more…]