Silencing the Haters

How to deal with haters

To the haters out there: Shhh…

“I could never do what you do.”

We were sitting in a coffee shop next door to my office when my friend said those words to me.

My friend is brilliant, funny, and an exceptional writer, but when I asked him what is stopping him from launching his own blog (something that he has talked about doing for months), that was his response.

He had more to say too:

“People are so cruel and judgmental. I don’t think that I have what it takes to put my writing out there for the world to rip apart and judge. There are so many haters out there.”

Sadly, he’s absolutely right. There are so many haters out there.

Some of you already know this, but it took me three long years to find the guts to publish my first ever blog post here on this site.

The reason for the ridiculously long delay, you might be wondering?

Fear of dealing with criticism from the haters.

Yep, that’s it. That fear almost stopped me from ever hitting “Publish” on my very first blog post.

Almost.

It took me a while to completely overcome this fear, but now with almost a year of blogging under my belt, I can say with 100% confidence that haters do not need to be feared.

They do need to be dealt with, though.

The problem is that when it comes to dealing with haters, most people give the same tired advice that you have probably heard before:

Ignore them.

Get a thicker skin.

Fight fire with fire.

There are definitely much better ways to silence the haters, so without further ado, let’s get on with the business of zipping their lips once and for all. [Read more…]

 

The Love That Will Save the World

Tree of love

This is where all meaningful love begins.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day! YAY!

Okay, enough with the fake enthusiasm. Some people believe that Valentine’s Day is the best day on the calendar for celebrating love. I respectfully disagree with them.

It’s supposed to be a day of celebrating love, but it has morphed into a bizarre competitive sport where people are focused on comparing the size of their flower bouquets to their coworkers’ flower bouquets to see who is “loved the most” (but that’s a topic for a different day.)

And more importantly, shouldn’t we be celebrating love every day?

That’s what I want to talk about: Celebrating love. Every. Single. Day.

But I’m not talking about romantic love, the love you have for your friends, or even the love that you have for your kids.

I want to talk about the love that has the power to save the world:

Self-love.
[Read more…]

 

The 5 Unshakable Traits of Mental Toughness

the little preschool boy plays the superhero outdoors

How mentally tough are you?

Since the new year just began a little over two weeks ago, there is no better time to develop new habits, right? If so, the following sentence could hold the motivation to change your year (maybe even your life), if you let it:

You either control your mind or it controls you.

It might sound like an overstatement to say this, but I believe that the previous sentence holds the secret to life. Yes, seriously. As always, the biggest and most important battle that we’ll ever fight on this earth is the battle between our two ears.

Consistently control your mind and you’ll win. Allow undisciplined thoughts to control your behaviors and actions, and you’ll lose. Repeatedly.

Simple, right? So, why do so many people come up on the losing end so often?

It all comes down to one critical factor: Mental Toughness.

The guy who stays cool under pressure? He has it. The woman who can stay locked-in on a goal despite the drama that’s going on around her? She has it too.

This is a critical skill to develop because every (and I mean, every) wildly successful person who I have had the pleasure of interacting with personally or professionally has a healthy amount of it.

Below are the five most common traits that I’ve personally noticed in those people. Do you have these five traits working for you in your life?

Let’s find out. [Read more…]

 

The Pain That You Should Be Thankful For

Do you feel his pain? I do.

I absolutely LOVE Thanksgiving.

Food, family, friends, football, fun (did I get all of the “F’s”?), make this the one holiday that I look forward to the most every year.

In addition to all of the F’s, what I also love about this time of year is that we get to mindfully reflect on what is really important in our lives, and simply be in gratitude, at least for a day.

I urge you to consistently remember what it is that you’re thankful for, not just on Thanksgiving, but every day of your lives.

But that’s not what this blog post is about.

Let’s be real–chances are that if you’re choosing to read The Positivity Solution, you are already aware of the importance of being thankful for your health, your spouse, your kids, your home, your friends, your family and your job.

So, let’s raise the stakes a little.

This Thursday before we slip into our yearly blissful tryptophanic food coma, my goal is to add a new and very important thing to the many things that you are the most thankful for.

Truthfully, it could save your life. [Read more…]

 

42 Things That You Don’t Know About Me

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Year Four: The Year of Growth

You might already know this, but this past Wednesday (November 2nd) was my 42nd birthday!

And, in what’s become a bit of a tradition on my birthday, I wanted to share with you 42 random things about me that you probably don’t know about me.

Don’t get confused though, I’m not writing this blog post for me–as always, this is about us.

Specifically, it’s about creating an even deeper connection with you by sharing how much we have in common–and I’m willing to bet that it’s more than you thought before reading this blog post.

As you probably know, one thing that I do around here is mark my birthday as my own personal New Year, as opposed to January 1st (makes sense, doesn’t it?) Also, I have celebrated four birthdays at The Positivity Solution, and each year had a central theme.

Year One was all about authenticity, Year Two was all about perseverance, Year Three (last year) was all about courage…so what’s the theme for this year?

This year’s theme is going to be all about growth.

I’ve always believed that there’s only two options in our lifetimes for all of us: we’re either growing or we’re dying. I think that I’ve lost sight of this recently, so this year is all about intentionally moving toward growth.

Say it with me: Growth, baby!

I’ve done this birthday post for the past four years, and since it is such a big hit and a great way to make an even deeper connection with the only reason why I’m here (that’s you, by the way), I figured why not do it again?

Some are new, some are repeats from last year for the many new readers in the house, but all should give you a little deeper insight into who I am and why I’m here.

Without further ado, here they are in no particular order. Enjoy!  [Read more…]

 

No, You Can’t Be “Too Nice”

handshake between woman and dog - High Five - teamwork between girl dog

Contrary to what you might have heard, there is no such thing as being “too nice.”

In the past three years, I have heard the following sentence from very well-meaning people more times than I can remember:

“People always tell me that I’m too nice.”

My response to that statement is consistently the same:

It is impossible to be “too nice.”

And even if it was somehow possible, would it be a bad thing?

According to Merriam-Webster, nice is defined as being “kind, polite and friendly.” Seriously, I dare you to turn on the TV right now to any station that’s covering the upcoming presidential election and tell me that we can’t use an extra serving of “kind, polite and friendly” in our world right now.

But I digress–the problem is the misguided idea that we can be too nice, and the equally-misguided idea that being too nice (if it were even possible) is a bad thing.

Hopefully this blog post will put both of those pesky issues to bed once and for all. [Read more…]