Addition By Subtraction

Addition by Subtraction

Sometimes, it’s best to walk away.

Have you ever dealt with an incredibly difficult person before?

I know, I know. Ridiculous question, right? Of course you have.

I bet that it was a miserable experience, wasn’t it?

I believe that one of the hardest things that we have to endure in our lives is dealing with difficult people. In fact, it’s so tough that I even wrote a free guide to help you navigate through the challenges of it (if interested, you can get it instantly by subscribing to The Positivity Solution.)

In this post, I’m going to take it a step further.

Specifically, I’m going to talk about the people who are, without a doubt, the worst of the worst. While it’s true that difficult people are fairly common, the people that I’m about to mention, thankfully, are very rare.

I’m talking about toxic people.

These folks are dangerous and have the power to destroy your life if they are not dealt with swiftly.

The only way to deal with these people is to fully embrace the “addition by subtraction” philosophy.

I can promise you that using this technique when it comes to dealing with toxic people will positively change your life in ways that you wouldn’t even imagine. [Read more…]

 

What Are You Willing to Give Up?

Young beautiful woman relaxing in hammock in a tropical resort.back view

You might have to give this up, especially if you really want your dream.

With the debut of my first book, Making Work Work, less than 30 days away (woohoo!), I’ve been asked a lot of questions about the book-writing process.

I was thinking about writing a blog post to specifically answer those questions, but I don’t want to bore the good folks reading this who have zero interest in writing a book (and I wouldn’t blame them!) But seriously, if anyone is interested in the nuts and bolts of the process, I’d be happy to write about it one day.

Until then, let’s talk about the part of the process that affects everyone. It’s the advice that I wish knew prior to starting, and as usual in my life, it’s advice that I ended up learning the hard way:

If you want to achieve your life’s dream, you must make peace with the fact that you’re going to have to give up something in order to achieve it. [Read more…]

 

Being a Fraud: Dealing With the Impostor Syndrome

Lonely young man outside at house balcony looking depressed destroyed sad and suffering emotional crisis and grief on an urban background

Do you think that you’ve fooled the world into believing that you’re smart and capable? Then you might suffer from the Impostor Syndrome.

Have you felt it before?

The sinking feeling that you’ve been fooling everyone into thinking that you’re better, smarter and more qualified than you really are?

If so, there’s an official name for this issue.

This insidious mind virus is known as The Impostor Syndrome, and here’s an excellent definition of it, courtesy of Fast Company:

Impostor syndrome is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to see their own accomplishments, dismissing them as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.”

The good news is that if you’re thinking that you’re alone in feeling like a fraud–you’re not. I’m right there with you.

Here’s my story, and more importantly, here’s how we can win the fight against Impostor Syndrome, starting today. [Read more…]

 

Love or Fear: The Choice That’s Facing America (and the World)

Sad lonely patriot woman sitting down with the american flag wrapped around her. Deployment military life and relationship concept

Love or Fear–what’s it going to be, America?

This has been a pretty brutal summer.

In the past seven days, we have seen the police kill two men in an incomprehensible manner. We have seen five police officers killed in cold blood in the line of duty. We have watched race relations disintegrate, anger and mistrust reach a fever pitch, and blame for the world’s problems being slung around like Halloween candy on social media pages.

Regardless of who you are, the unfortunate reality that we all share is that we are currently living in a world with far more questions than answers.

And, as a black man who writes about positivity, quite a few people have hit me up in the past few days to ask me for answers to these very tough questions.

Most of them were a variation of this one:

“The world is circling the drain right now. What can we do to make a positive change in the face of such unrelenting negativity?”

I have an answer.

The problem with my answer is that many people won’t have the guts, resilience and mental toughness to even try it once they hear what it is. Which is completely fine, because I’m not writing this for them anyway.

For the rest of us, read on. [Read more…]

 

The Illusion of Better

Yeah…I’m guessing that this guy probably thinks that he’s better than you.

Here is what I believe.

If you’re the type of guy/gal who is super sweet and nice to the CEO (or any executive) of your company, but you also consistently treat the janitors or the front line staff in your company like crap, then there’s no doubt in my mind that you’re a horrible person.

Yeah, I said it.

Sadly, I’m starting to lose count of the amount of people who I encounter at work, and outside of work, who act this way. It’s sickening, it’s destructive, and most of all, it has to stop.

So, why do some people act this way?

From what I’ve seen, it all comes to down to one destructive belief:

The Illusion of Better. [Read more…]

 

After the Slash

Choose wisely.

There is nothing more important in the world than this. When you’re done reading this post, I’m confident that you’ll agree with me.

Your happiness, success, your health, the job of your dreams, inner peace, true love, even your sanity depends solely on this one thing.

It’s called the slash, and you cannot live another moment without a full understanding of its power over your life.

Strangely enough, you’ve probably never heard of it until now. Stranger than that, is the fact that you use it multiple times a day without even being aware of it.

That is, until now.

In order to understand what I’m talking about, please allow me to illustrate the power of the slash in action. [Read more…]