3 Steps to Overcome Worry and Find Peace

Depression In Young Age

It’s possible to find peace.

I have a small admission to make.

I tend to worry a lot.

No, I’m not a chronic worrier that sweats the small stuff, like if my favorite brand of green tea is in stock at the grocery store, or if my favorite wide-receiver will be available in my fantasy football draft.

I worry about if I’m being the best father that I can possibly be for my little girls. I worry about whether or not this blog is making a meaningful difference in anyone’s life. I worry about if I’m making the best choices on a daily basis to improve my physical, emotional and mental health.

A few years ago, these worries would eat me alive every waking moment of my life. Thankfully, those days are over. Things are very different in my life now, and I have these two simple, life-changing epiphanies to thank for it:

1) Worrying serves no useful purpose whatsoever.

2) I have complete control to ensure that worrying doesn’t control my life and mess with my inner peace.

I know that I will probably never stop worrying, but I always have the power to determine the influence that my worries will have over my life.

This is a game-changing concept, and if you struggle with excessive worrying, hopefully this blog post will help. [Read more…]

 

GUEST POST: Tough Love

Couple Silhouette Breaking Up A Relation

Setting clear boundaries may be tough, but it’s necessary.

Shola’s Note: Hey Solutionists! In my effort to introduce you to some amazing people who are working hard to make this world a more positive place, I have a treat for you! On this month’s Solutionist Spotlight, I have the honor of presenting the founder of the blog Nursing My Appetite. and my dear friend, Whitney Hoover. Besides being one of the nicest people in the universe, she’s also smarter than the average bear when it comes to understanding this journey we call life (as you will soon read.) So, without further ado, here’s Whitney!

If there was a people-pleaser club, I’d be a shoe-in for President of the local chapter.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve fostered a natural desire and instinct to do anything that I can to bring joy, ease, relief and comfort to those around me. It’s a quality that I’m proud of and deeply value, but it’s also one half of a double-edged sword.

Being a people-pleaser means that I’m also not all that great at setting boundaries or saying no–usually out of the (admittedly ridiculous) fear of disappointing friends and strangers alike. I routinely ignore both gut and reason, freely and eagerly offering precious time, money, energy and ultimately mental health for the sake of accommodating others.

Thankfully, now I know the life-saving power of setting boundaries. [Read more…]

 

Knowing When to End Friendships

Single Woman Alone Swinging On The Beach

It’s always better to be alone than in bad company.

Do you know the one thing that I can guarantee you about every relationship in your life right now?

It will eventually end.

It’s true, isn’t it?

Every relationship that you’re in right now will end, either voluntarily or through death. That is the one thing that ties together every relationship that you currently have, or ever will have, for the rest of your life.

Whoa.

Some people might find this little fun fact somewhat depressing, but I don’t at all. To me, this is overwhelmingly positive because it reminds me to do two simple, but life-altering things on a daily basis:

1) Deeply cherish all of the enriching and healthy relationships in my life, because I don’t know when they will end.

2) Stop wasting my limited time on earth in unhealthy relationships that drain me and bring me mindless drama.

I know that this is painfully obvious, but the key to a positive life is to maximize the amount of healthy relationships in our lives, while minimizing the amount of unhealthy ones.

This all sounds simple enough, but it’s possible that you might have some negative influences in your life who you feel that you’re stuck with, like co-workers, family members or spouses (remember, you’re not stuck with them, unless you choose to be stuck with them.)

But what about our friends?

Having co-workers, family members and spouses who bring misery, pain and drama into our lives is bad enough, but aren’t we doubling-down on crazy by allowing friends into our lives who do the same?

I think so.  [Read more…]

 

Necessary Confrontations

Scream Of Anger

Confrontation does NOT have to look like this.

There’s something about me that I’ve never shared on this blog before. Here goes:

I absolutely hate confrontation.

Not only do I hate it, but I also tend to avoid it whenever humanly possible.

Sounds weird, right? Aren’t I the guy who proudly proclaims that we need to find the courage to stand up to the bullies and ruthlessly remove the toxic people in our lives?

Yes, it’s all still me.

Just because I hate confrontation doesn’t mean that I won’t engage in it when it’s necessary.

Sometimes I hate going to the gym, eating my veggies and saving money instead of spending it, but since I’ve determined that doing these things are necessary for me to have the best shot at enjoying my most positive life possible, I end up doing them anyway.

That’s the key word: necessary

And there is no doubt that learning to effectively deal with confrontation is a necessary skill in order to enjoy a positive life.

Whether we like it or not. [Read more…]

 

The Danger of “Supposed To…”

Young Woman Looking To The Cefalu, Sicily

The dream of a better life cannot be ignored.

There are two words in the English language that may seem innocent enough, but from what I’ve seen and experienced, they can put the brakes on a positive life quicker than you can imagine:

Supposed to.

I have a question for you, and I want you to answer it honestly–it’s a tough one too. Here goes:

Are you committed to living the life that you desperately want to live, or will you settle for the one that you’re “supposed to” live?

I believe that the answer to this simple question has the power to shape the entire course of your life. [Read more…]

 

GUEST POST: Why Kindness Keeps You Saner and More Engaged at Work

Young City Professional Man Success

Kindness is a very sound business strategy.

Shola’s Note: Hey Solutionists! In my effort to introduce you to some amazing people who are working hard to make this world a more positive place, I have a treat for you! On this month’s Solutionist Spotlight, I have the honor of presenting Christopher G. Fox, Ph.D.–he’s the founder of Kindness Communication, which focuses on promoting kindness to achieve better results and greater focus in companies and organizations. So, without further ado, here’s Chris!

Let’s make a simple commitment together.

Data from Gallup show that employee engagement hovers in the range of 30%. That’s a lot of disengaged people. Companies make large-scale, top-down efforts to improve the picture, but year after year, engagement barely budges.

So the commitment is this: Let’s take workplace engagement into our own hands by being intentionally kind to our colleagues at every point of contact. Because it’s hard to care about your job when you don’t care for each other. [Read more…]