Necessary Confrontations

Scream Of Anger

Confrontation does NOT have to look like this.

There’s something about me that I’ve never shared on this blog before. Here goes:

I absolutely hate confrontation.

Not only do I hate it, but I also tend to avoid it whenever humanly possible.

Sounds weird, right? Aren’t I the guy who proudly proclaims that we need to find the courage to stand up to the bullies and ruthlessly remove the toxic people in our lives?

Yes, it’s all still me.

Just because I hate confrontation doesn’t mean that I won’t engage in it when it’s necessary.

Sometimes I hate going to the gym, eating my veggies and saving money instead of spending it, but since I’ve determined that doing these things are necessary for me to have the best shot at enjoying my most positive life possible, I end up doing them anyway.

That’s the key word: necessary

And there is no doubt that learning to effectively deal with confrontation is a necessary skill in order to enjoy a positive life.

Whether we like it or not. [Read more…]

 

The Danger of “Supposed To…”

Young Woman Looking To The Cefalu, Sicily

The dream of a better life cannot be ignored.

There are two words in the English language that may seem innocent enough, but from what I’ve seen and experienced, they can put the brakes on a positive life quicker than you can imagine:

Supposed to.

I have a question for you, and I want you to answer it honestly–it’s a tough one too. Here goes:

Are you committed to living the life that you desperately want to live, or will you settle for the one that you’re “supposed to” live?

I believe that the answer to this simple question has the power to shape the entire course of your life. [Read more…]

 

GUEST POST: Why Kindness Keeps You Saner and More Engaged at Work

Young City Professional Man Success

Kindness is a very sound business strategy.

Shola’s Note: Hey Solutionists! In my effort to introduce you to some amazing people who are working hard to make this world a more positive place, I have a treat for you! On this month’s Solutionist Spotlight, I have the honor of presenting Christopher G. Fox, Ph.D.–he’s the founder of Kindness Communication, which focuses on promoting kindness to achieve better results and greater focus in companies and organizations. So, without further ado, here’s Chris!

Let’s make a simple commitment together.

Data from Gallup show that employee engagement hovers in the range of 30%. That’s a lot of disengaged people. Companies make large-scale, top-down efforts to improve the picture, but year after year, engagement barely budges.

So the commitment is this: Let’s take workplace engagement into our own hands by being intentionally kind to our colleagues at every point of contact. Because it’s hard to care about your job when you don’t care for each other. [Read more…]

 

Getting off the Fence

woman sit in park on wooden fence wearing leather boots, wool s

Are you ready to get off the fence?

Believe it or not, The Positivity Solution is almost two years old (May 20th!) And for close to two years, this is the one question that I have heard the most often from my readers:

“I really want to (insert goal here), but I’m not sure if it will work out. What do you think that I should do?”

The goal could be anything: Starting a blog, leaving an abusive relationship, training for a marathon, launching a new business, standing up to the office bully–literally, anything.

Almost always, the answer to the above question is consistently the same. In fact, since this question is such a common one, I thought that I’d answer it here in more detail in a much-needed blog post.

If you have a goal that you deeply want to achieve and you’re wondering if you should do it or not, then you’re definitely in the right place.

Today is the day where you get off of the fence. [Read more…]

 

The Art of the Apology

cutest puppy face

Even a guilty puppy can admit when he’s wrong. So, why can’t we?

There are a lot of things in this world that I don’t understand, but here is one thing that I have failed to understand for as long as I’ve been alive.

I don’t understand people who can’t admit when they’re wrong.

Seriously, how hard is it to own up to making a mistake? Apparently, very hard for some people.

To some people, an apology is a sign of weakness. To some people, appearing vulnerable would be more painful than putting a hot iron on their faces. To some people, being right is worth fighting for until they finally reach the grave for good.

This is such a sad and pitiful way to live life.

Since a lot of my readers have reached out to me to share that they are currently dealing with people like this in their personal and professional lives (I am too, by the way), I want to do something about it.

If for some reason, this blog post was <ahem> gently recommended to you by a friend or colleague, and you’re actually reading it, I applaud you for having the awareness to realize that you might be guilty of this behavior.

More importantly, I will do my best to convince you that admitting when you’re wrong and apologizing the right way will make you appear stronger and more admired than you have ever been before.

Sound good? Let’s jump in. [Read more…]

 

The Price of Perfectionism

Five darts hitting bullseye on dartboard

Being perfect isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.

A few weeks ago, I was having lunch with a woman who was considering launching a blog of her own, but something was holding her back from doing it.

Here’s what she said:

“There no way that I can put out something that’s less than excellent. I demand excellence in everything that I do. I’m a perfectionist.”

Yep, that was her reason for not launching her own blog, and she said those words as if being a perfectionist was something to be proud of.

It’s not.

Perfectionism is a silent killer of dreams, and if we care about achieving anything meaningful in our lives before we die, we must kick this silly habit to the curb with the quickness. [Read more…]