7 Ways That People Die Before They’re Actually Dead

This might as well be our view of the world if we choose to die before we’re actually dead.

Everyone dies. Not everyone really lives.” -William Sachs Wallace

Scary title for a blog post, isn’t it?

I hope so.

In reality, we should all fear death, but not in the way that you may think.

What I’m referring to is dying before we’re dead.

Sadly, many people die thousands of little deaths before they finally make it official.

Without any doubt, experiencing those tiny deaths on a daily basis is not only extremely painful, but those tiny deaths also make it so much harder for us to live our best lives before we reach the grave for good.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, those tiny deaths could also cause us to reach the grave much sooner than necessary too.

This path doesn’t have to be for us.

If you’ve ever experienced that sickening feeling when a tiny piece of you dies by not fully honoring yourself, this post is for you.

Below are seven ways that many people experience death before reaching the grave.

If you’re experiencing any of these, commit to making today the day where you fully reclaim your life.

The man/woman staring back at you in your bathroom mirror will thank you immensely for it. [Read more…]

 

Silencing the Haters

How to deal with haters

To the haters out there: Shhh…

“I could never do what you do.”

We were sitting in a coffee shop next door to my office when my friend said those words to me.

My friend is brilliant, funny, and an exceptional writer, but when I asked him what is stopping him from launching his own blog (something that he has talked about doing for months), that was his response.

He had more to say too:

“People are so cruel and judgmental. I don’t think that I have what it takes to put my writing out there for the world to rip apart and judge. There are so many haters out there.”

Sadly, he’s absolutely right. There are so many haters out there.

Some of you already know this, but it took me three long years to find the guts to publish my first ever blog post here on this site.

The reason for the ridiculously long delay, you might be wondering?

Fear of dealing with criticism from the haters.

Yep, that’s it. That fear almost stopped me from ever hitting “Publish” on my very first blog post.

Almost.

It took me a while to completely overcome this fear, but now with almost a year of blogging under my belt, I can say with 100% confidence that haters do not need to be feared.

They do need to be dealt with, though.

The problem is that when it comes to dealing with haters, most people give the same tired advice that you have probably heard before:

Ignore them.

Get a thicker skin.

Fight fire with fire.

There are definitely much better ways to silence the haters, so without further ado, let’s get on with the business of zipping their lips once and for all. [Read more…]

 

What You Allow

What you allow is what will continue

Having a doormat is good. Being one? Not so good.

In my opinion, you can throw every other motivational quote in this world’s history out of the window if you choose to embrace the epicness of the following quote:

What you allow is what will continue.” -Unknown

If you think about it, what in the world could possibly be more motivational and empowering than knowing that we are always in complete control of what we allow into our lives?

I’ll even take it a step further.

I believe that if we remember this quote and live the truth in this quote on a daily basis, our lives and our world would become more positive in an instant.

But let’s be real.

Lots of people know that quote is true, but they keep allowing the same crap to flow into their lives anyway. Predictably, what will continue to faithfully show up in their lives is more of the crap that they’re trying to avoid.

Maybe you’re one of those people.

I know that I used to be. Actually, in many areas of my life, I still am that person.

I want this post to serve as your wake-up call. Scratch that, OUR wake-up call.

We’re in this together.

Effective immediately, it is time for you, me, and anyone else who is reading these words to become more mindful of what we allow into our lives.

This is too important to wait a moment longer. [Read more…]

 

Living for Someday

If not now, when?

Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies in us while we live.” -Norman Cousins

Do you know the exact moment when you’re going to die?

Don’t worry, you’re not alone–none of us knows for sure. It could happen 45 years from now, it could happen sometime in 2017, hell–it could happen this afternoon.

Just like you, I sincerely hope that it doesn’t happen this afternoon, but just like you, I have no clue if it will.

One thing that we do know for sure is that our deaths will happen. It’s not a matter of if, it’s only a matter of when.

Since we all agree on this, why do we act like we have all of the time in the world to do the things that we’ve always wanted to do, or much more importantly, to be the person who we’ve always wanted to be?

Let me be real with you:

You don’t.

Our death is one of the few things in this world that is 100% guaranteed, and each moment that passes is bringing us closer to that moment when it will all come to an end. No matter how hard you try, there is absolutely nothing that you can do to stop the sand from pouring out of your hourglass as you’re reading these words.

Pretty sobering, isn’t it?

No, this isn’t going to be a depressing blog post about death and dying (C’mon–this place is called The Positivity Solution, remember? We don’t do that stuff around here, people.)

This is about choosing to live intentionally. I’m not talking about doing it next week, or tomorrow, or “when you have more time” (as if that day will ever come), and definitely not “someday.”

I’m talking about choosing to live right now.

We literally don’t have the time to spare, and if for some reason you think that you have plenty of time to go after your hopes and dreams, I’m here to give you the swift kick in the ass (lovingly, of course) that you desperately need and deserve. 

No more hitting the snooze button, it’s time to wake up. Hopefully, before it’s too late. [Read more…]

 

Stop Complaining

Stop complaining

Stop complaining.

If you’re anything like me, there are probably certain traits that you see in other people that drive you crazy.

For example, here are a few less-than-pleasant traits that most well-adjusted people can’t stand: rudeness, selfishness, thoughtlessness, laziness, arrogance, intolerance, dishonesty, and apathy, just to name a few.

But there’s one more trait that’s not on the list above that truly drives me insane.

I think that the reason why it annoys the hell out of me so much is because I used to be the living, breathing poster child for this miserable trait on a daily basis.

I was a chronic complainer. Yup, yours truly.

There used to be a time in the not-so-distant past where I would complain about anything and everything to anyone who had the misfortune of being stuck listening to my constant whining.

It didn’t matter if it was about my job, the weather, the pain in my knee, my sorry bank account, my girlfriend drama, how busy I was, how tired I was (you get the picture). If something ever went wrong in my life, please trust that I would instantly put a negative spin on it, and then spend the rest of the day (or longer) complaining about it.

To this day, I am so thankful that I had a friend years ago who was willing to snap me out of my funk by giving me some much-needed tough love.

  • He told me that my personal relationships would eventually suffer if I continued to constantly suck the energy out of every room with my complaining (he was right).
  • He told me that my professional career would eventually stall out if I constantly repelled the people who I worked with by complaining instead of taking action (again, he was right).
  • He told me that my mental, emotional, and even physical health would eventually decline if I didn’t make a decision to stop complaining and wallowing in negativity everyday (he was still right).

Thankfully, his tough love completely transformed my life. More accurately, it saved my life.

I have never looked at complaining in the same way ever since, and if you engage in chronic complaining like I did, then hopefully I can help you to break the cycle too.

All it takes is a little tough love. That’s why I’m here. [Read more…]

 

Overcoming the Need to be Liked

Need to be liked

Please like me, please like me…

I know a four-word sentence that has the power to get a negative response out of almost anyone who hears it.

Are you ready for it? Brace yourself, because it might sting a little:

“I don’t like you.”

Ouch.

See? It hurts, doesn’t it?

For years and years, I did anything humanly possible to avoid having those four words directed at me. Believe me, I’m still a work in progress, but I’ve come a long way from being the guy who desperately needed to be liked in order to be happy.

If you’re currently someone who has a desperate need to be liked by others, get comfortable because this blog post is for you. [Read more…]